California Academy of Sciences – NightLife

by janet on March 6th, 2010

I only nom marshmallows, thus my coloring.

So the California Academy of Sciences does these cool things on Thursday nights, where you go in and wander around with wine in your hands.  So, despite their frog exhibit (Ahem!  It REALLY SUCKS when you have a frog phobia and there are banners of poisonous frogs all over the city when you’re trying to drive!  Very inconsiderate.) I braved it with R2 a couple months ago.

I have a love for aquariums.  So after we swam through the crowd of hipsters and purchased our $7 mini servings of wine, we headed to the aquarium portion.

But first we passed by a…what’s the word?  Do-something.  Docent?  Who had a buncha these hideous dried fishies to show off.  She told us many fascinating facts about them, but  all of my cognitive abilities were going towards inhibiting my rather strong urge to poke at them.  I succeeded and was praising myself for my Asian obedience when the docent picked this one up and handed it to R2 to touch.  NO FAIR!

In the aquarium portion were many beautiful fishies, sea mammals, jellies.  As you know, though, I suck at taking pictures of anything that’s moving so this is the sole photo you get – a vaguely labia-majora-looking thing.  I made this joke to R2 and he said, “I knew you were going to say that.”

I’ve got to get new material.

They also has foodz!  This was a carnitas taco.  It was exactly what I wish out of a taco – corn tortilla, various raw chopped up crunchy things, and pork that has gotten its shit stewed out of it, resulting in something almost creamy.  I would go back just for the food!

Plan your  own NightLife trip!

Pollan Documentary: Botany of Desire

by janet on March 3rd, 2010

It’s an awful title, isn’t it?  That was about the only drawback with the film (and book on which it is based).  Well, also it was a teeny bit boring.

Backtracking.  Choco, R2, U2, Peanut, Choco’s roommate who I will not give a pseudonym because I will likely never see her again and I went to the City Arts & Lectures screening last night of the PBS documentary Botany of Desire.  It’s made by Michael Schwarz and based on that inimitable demi-god of foodies Michael Pollan’s 2001 book of the same name.

We were situated in a box (swank!) with Depression-era style concrete-feeling chairs (derelict!) and settled in to watch the doc.  I have not read the book, but the film’s message seemed to be similar to Omnivore’s Dilemma (which I cannot finish for the life of me but maybe I’ll try again now) – that monocultures are bad and please everyone stop eating McDonald’s.

This was ironic because R2 and U2 were late to the movie because they were in the lobby finishing their McD’s.  They got it for good reason – the Star Wars Clone Wars toys are now out (and R2, indeed, proudly wore his eponymous toy on his belt loop the rest of the night).

An additional message of the film was that just as nature shapes us, we shape nature.  Our desire for beauty has made flower evolution go wild.  Same with apples – they are under selection pressure to get ever sweeter.  Even the cannabis plant, in response to human desire, have evolved to have more and more THC in them.

Other interesante things from the film:

Wowow wee wah.  Apples originated in Kazahkstan.

Johnny Appleseed was the original hipster.  Even though he was from a super wealthy family, he became in essence a homeless guy with unkempt hair who traveled around planting apple trees.  Also, it was curious that Johnny Appleseed created saplings from seeds, which when planted will have essentially zero similarity to the tree it came from.  The way to make a new tree with the old tree’s qualities (sweet apples, for example) is to use the technique of grafting, which was certainly available and known about back then.  But Johnny Appleseed was actually crazy religious, and believed that everything in nature was mirrored in heaven, so he thought grafting was unnatural and an affront to God.  So all these colonial towns (which, by the way, had to plant fruit trees BY LAW) had these crappy tasting apple trees thanks to him, which was OK because those were the apples that make the best alcoholic cider.

The best marijuana plants have resin in them, which is where the THC is concentrated.  The resin is created by female plants that put out more sticky stuff to catch the male plants’ pollen.  Growers, therefore, keep male plants out of their greenhouses and fill them with females only.  So, in essence, a growhouse is a 120 degree space chock full of “sexually frustrated” female plants.  Sux for them.

Why is it that protesters can only come up with the cheesiest chants?  I mean, “What do we want?” “______!”  ”When do we want it?”  ”NOW!” is already pretty bad.  In this film, in protest to genetically modified organisms (GMOs), they came up with “Hey hey.  Ho Ho.  We don’t want no GMOs!”  Awful.

In the section on tulips, the guy kept saying “chulips” which I thought was very cute.

After the screening, the man himself came out – Michael Pollan, IN THE FLESH!  He is one of those guys who is bald but still super handsome.  He has an non-defensive, exceedingly thoughtful, laid-back, and dryly funny persona.  Also you can tell he knows he’s the shit.  But he is, so.

Interesting things from the Q&A portion:

He started by asking Michael Schwarz why it took him ten years to make the film when he himself wrote the book in only two.  Ba-zing!  Schwarz said it was due to two reasons: (1) The marijuana section, which made all the potential funders uneasy, to the point where one of them suggested they focus on a different plant, like… grapes!  That’ll work, won’t it?  (2) No one knew who Michael Pollan was when the book came out so no one cared.  Boosh.

Curiously, though the filmmakers didn’t get an interview with Monsanto (the company who does the genetically modified plants), Pollan did in his book.  It turns out that Pollan had represented himself, in his words, “incompletely” to Monsanto and told them that he was a “garden writer.” lol.

Someone from the audience said “Thanks for this film.  I really enjoyed it, and it’s giving me motivation to actually finish the book.”  lol squared.  Didn’t I just get done telling you that I felt the same way, just about Omnivore’s Dilemma?

Did you know that almonds (another monoculture, also California’s #1 agricultural export?!) are such a huge industry that they have to ship in massive quantities of bees to pollinate the trees?  And that’s not enough so they feed the bees high fructose corn syrup before they release them to pollinate?  Crazay.

So it was a fun night that also made my brain grow.  On the way home, I asked R2 and U2 what they would write about if they were writing this post.  U2 said “the chairs.” I said, “…the chairs??” and U2 said, “They hurt my butt.”  To which R2 said “Buttony of Chairsire” and looked all proud of himself.  Sigh.

Mini post for mini avocado

by janet on March 2nd, 2010

With common household items for scale.

I love my CSA box, but are you fucking serious me?  Lamest pit/meat ratio ever.  I eated it anyway.

ChanChan, Beretta, Random Japaneezy Place

by janet on March 1st, 2010

So.  I look through my iPhoto and there are dozens and dozens of backlogged photographs from places I’ve eaten and ne’er blogged.  They are such sad photographs – I can just see their lil hearts swelling when I click on them (“My day has arrived!  I’m going to the show!”) and then deflating as I pass them over for juicier photos.

It’s just that some places only inspire a couple paragraphs and not an entire post, so I wait for thoughts to percolate and then the entire post just…kinda dies.  Sadded.

So I am going to lump three at a time and make them into full posts. Why three?  Because it rhymes with squee!

1. Chan Chan

Chan Chan Cubano Cafe is all the way up at the top of a random hill in Twin Peaks.  We tried to go twice and it was closed both times (“I’m sorry!  Come back again, PLEASE!” the owner shouted at us through the window, both times).  Third time’s the charm.

They don’t have a menu; the guy just cooks what he feels like.  Superb!  Some sort of wilted spinach with berries (top), a fish dish (rhymes, hee!  above), and chicken with plantains.

You bet I nommed that marigold.  The food was…OK.  Not as superb as the concept.  The more interesting part of the night was an altercation between the chef his…cousin?  Acquaintance?  The gist of it, as far as I could tell while trying to appear as if I wasn’t listening, was that the guy had eaten a lot of food at the restaurant over the past months, and was paying back the chef in labor, but he had only worked that one night and, further, actually had the balls to ASK!?  FOR?!  MONEEYYY!?  Shove!  Shove!  Shove!  Out into the street and yelling! (though I couldn’t turn to look but R2 got to see – lucky bitch)  I believe it was settled without violence, and the chef came back in, apologized, and charged us $20 for four courses.  Sweet.

4690 18th Street, SF CA 94114  415.864.4199

2. Beretta

Beretta is a pretty hip joint, complete with Mission zipcode and strange cocktails.  My hipster cred went through the roof just walking into the place.

I am a fan of their new place on Chestnut (Delarosa; post coming soon) and I must say that I was a fan of Beretta’s cocktails beyond the normal reason I like cocktails, which is that they make me feel warm and funny and lovable and loving.  My favorite was the Airmailrum, honey, lime, prosecco.  R2 said, “I’ll have one of those too” and then “lamented” that it looked exceedingly girly, which made my eyes roll because he LOOVES girly drinks, are you kidding me?

We had pate (above) which was passable but nothing like what we had had a week prior at the now shuttered Cote Sud (if I may go on a tangent, the food at Cote Sud was astonishingly good, but in the middle of our meal a cockroach ran across our table and our server smashed it with a napkin and said “That was not a cockroach!” and then only comped our desserts…so I can kind of see why they closed), prosciutto di parma, tomato, arugula & mozzarella pizza (top) – also passable.  And then the special of the day – braised oxtail!

Not juicy enough, and I got a weird sticky cartilagey chunk in my mouth that I didn’t like.  Too salty, not quite worth it and definitely not finished and not taken home (burn!).

This was a little bit disappointing given all the hype, but Delarosa is one of my favorites and redeems my Beretta experience several times over.

1199 Valencia St SF CA 94110  415.695.1199

3. Random Japaneezy Place

I used Google Street View to figure it out, akshully.  It’s called Genki Crepes, and has all sorts of fun Japanese items (for example, several obscure flavors of Pocky – orange, caramel milk, “winter”).  It’s the obvious place to stop after eating a belly-full of My-yum-mar food at Burma Superstar (post forthcoming) across the street.

Brings me back to my teen years in Tokyo – my go-to spot at the end of Takeshita Dori in Harajuku, you know?  This is the proper way to enjoy a crepe goddamnit.  San Francisco seems to think that crepe = an omelette, just with flour and not egg.  Jyerks.  A real Japaneezy crepe is thin as a playing card and filled with only my favorites – banana, nutella, whipped cream.

330 Clement Street, SF CA 94118  415.379.6414

So.  Did you like this format?  I feel exhausted like I wrote three separate posts anyway, but if you really liked it…



Supperclub San Francisco

by janet on February 21st, 2010

It’s pink cuz the whole place was bathed in pink light for V-day <3.

Me, a blogger: “How would you describe this place?”  R2, a professional writer: “Dinner theatre where dinner is the theatre?  An establishment that wears its lack of inhibition on its sleeve – if it were wearing sleeves…or any clothes at all for that matter?”

Good, good.  For Valentime’s day R2 surprised me with quite the extravaganza at Supperclub SF.  Despite reservations, we waited forever just simply to get in, but that didn’t matter.  Because  in the hallways as we waited there were (a) bathtubs and silk nests containing boy-girl and boy-boy combos of scantily-clad hot people making out nonstop – with TONGUE OMG!  (b) amuse bouches – too dark to see, but I think it was a potato chip with some sort of aioli with a dollop of caviar on top.  Plus, (c) the reason for the holdup was because each guest was treated to two minutes or so of banter by the greeters – a smokin’ hot glamourpuss named Asia and Miss B – a drag queen with the tightest ass and sexiest stems I’ve ever seen (better than mine WTF).  They teased R2 for being too buttoned up, squealing “show us your chest hair!” and unbuttoning his shirt. Except R2 doesn’t really have chest hair so there was disappointed awkwardness all around.

We were assigned to “Couch 22″ and ushered into a bar area which had some of the most Janetastic cocktails (all with elderflower or cucumber or prosecco, my faves).  I was fretting because it was unclear to me how or when we would be shown to our actual table/couch, so if you go – don’t worry.  Everyone gets seated all at once, since its more like a dinner show than a restaurant.

I should have known this, because my sister’s boyf joined the Supperclub SF group on Facebook, and being the stalker that I am, had noticed this and checked it out a couple months ago.  I think I forgot about it because I had dismissed it as a place that was too cool for me to ever go to.

The concept is – well, just read the second two sentences in this post and you’ll get an idea.  Also their website.  Also, the description of their food, which is only one part of it:

Be your own guinea-pig. Taste what you’ve never tasted before. Food at supperclub tickles your heart and caresses your soul. Then deliberately humiliates dogmas like ‘le cordon blue’ [sic] to shock your taste buds with new flavors. Be your own guinea-pig; delete your culinary expectations and open up to the unexpected: new seasonings, new combinations, new tastes, and a new…you.  Dinner in bed.  And no need to worry about the crumbs.

The dinner in bed part – there are a few tables in the center of the two-story open space, but the entire perimeter of both levels is one big couch.  As we settled into our cushion nest I realized that THIS was why R2 said, “Now I know you’re not going to like this, but you should really wear underwear tonight.”

We were sandwiched in between two awkward couples.  Awkward couple to our left consisted of what was clearly a very new-ish couple who were all stiff and polite to one another.  Probably they were both a little pissed that the timing worked out that V-day had come up too early in their courtship.  Both of our tables had awful obstructed views of the stage, so she scampered over to where she could see the first act (a guy poking his upper body through a giant sheet and undulating to a techno version of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds).  When she got back, I asked her how it was and she told me she was “over it” after the first thirty seconds…not a good sign re: her enjoyment of the entire night.

Awkward couple to the right: the slowest-eating couple ever.  I believe we were waiting for our mains before they were even done with their SALADS.  I’m all for enjoying your food (recently I’ve been trying to chew each mouthful 20 times – try it) but this was a little weird.  I very much liked it, therefore, when the guy was in the bathroom and the girl took that opportunity to fucking scarf down her food lol.

The food.  Despite the florid description above, I would say it was very good but not earth-shattering.  Asparagus with a mirin-esque sesame-ish dressing. Soup - lobster bisque or, for crustacean-allergic me, carrot with a dynamite cheddar crouton that was shaped like a gigantic biscotti, but one millimeter thick.  Main - lamb chops with sugar snap peasharicot vert, and au jus.  And, of course, for V-day, something chocolatey so flourless chocolate cake.  We ate it lounging on the pillows and holding the plates in our laps and using our fingers, washing it down with the bottle of champagne perched at every table and making out between every bite.  It was quite decadent.  The “royal court of Marie Antoinette” vibe was furthered by the center table, which was full of very glamourous old people with white white hair and frilly big dresses who were having the time of their lives.

The acts. After the LSD piece came a chick who sang something opera-ey.  I imagined her being an opera major at San Francisco State and telling her family back in Nebraska that she had made it as a professional opera singer and was performing every night.  Then, a hot hapa guy who did the requisite spoken word Valentime’s piece, with the cliched “cunt” thrown in here and there (“Pornographic poetry / is a spaceship of lust / that carries my metaphysical cock into your. hot. juicy. cunt.”).  Then a poor man’s Cirque act, with silk sheets hanging from the ceiling and twirling and such.

Then, finally, the fabulous Miss B (who started his act by saying “now, bitches, my name is not Miss V or Miss G – it’s Miss B.  Everyone say it with me now – HELLO MISS BEEEEEE” and then despite this, later, R2:”My favorite act was Miss V.”  Me: “Sigh.”).  He danced and grinded and humped his hot bod to Video Phone and ended by pouring an entire bottle of champagne all over himself.  So.  Not a romantic night per se, but truly awesome nonetheless.

Supperclub San Francisco
657 Harrison Street
San Francisco, CA 94107-1312
415.348.0900

LA Beer Fest Twenty Dime (is coming!)

by Daniel on February 19th, 2010

I’m back! I promised Janet I would post this week on account of her being busy with the real world or something, but tax season is upon me as well, so I’m just swinging by to drop this little gem on you. The LA Beer Fest 2010 is back for it’s sophomoric year! If you missed out on last year’s, now is the chance to make it up to yourself.  Tix can be yours for the decent price of $40 a ticket, which will get you unlimited 4oz pours of all the beers in attendance, provided you are prepared to wait in the lines for the good ones.

This time around there are two 3 hour sessions on the same day, April 10. The first goes from 1-4pm and the second from 5-8pm. Returning to entertain the masses during the first session is Petty Cash, whom you may recall made an appearance at the 1st Annual LA Beer Fest, which MTFB covered last year. The second session boasts 40oz to Freedom, billed as “The Ultimate Sublime tribute band.” Pick your poison, people.

Personally I’m hitting up the second session. While there is the risk of some of the breweries running out of beer (and a hex upon their kegs if they do!), I would rather risk that than the baked-in delirium resulting from unlimited pours + midday sun. The sun will be your secret enemy in full sight, as the fest will again take advantage of Sony’s backlot in Culver City. Here’s hoping that this year they’ve worked out more of the kinks and it will be less like the terrible twos and more like… well, that second pint of Guiness.

LA Beer Fest 2010
Sony Studios
10202 W. Washington Blvd.
Culver City, CA 90232

Buy your tix here:

Saturday, April 10, 1-4pm
Saturday, April 10, 5-8pm

Judy’s Cafe

by janet on February 14th, 2010

I don’t like omelettes.  They are nothing but overpriced rubbery yellow frisbees bent over half-assedly seasoned shit inside.  When at breakfast joints, I either order omelettes as scrambles (and inevitably incite jealousy in my companions when they see their plates compared to mine) or I frequent creperies since there are more of those in SF than hipsters on fixed gears. (And yet I have still not used our “crepes” tag; only Daniel has.)

Then: Judy’s.  A speck of a joint on Chestnut that takes over the sidewalk in front of the drycleaner’s next door on the weekends. It’s so popular that even when you are just walking down the sidewalk past it, the greeter automatically asks for your name, thinking you are OBV wanting to eat there.

The first time I went, as soon as we were seated someone walking past shouted “OHHHHH!  Pumpkin looooaaaf!” at us.  I assumed that meant they were good, so we ordered it as our side (that automatically comes with).  The loaf, indeedy, was divine.  Slight crunch on the outside, moist and spicy on the inside.

I’m getting ahead of myself.  We (meaning me and Lex, the fag to my hag) were seated next to two homosexual females who MAY have been a tad bit butch-ey.  Lex kept making sassy/hilarious (sassilarious?) jokes re: their intense manliness, and I felt exactly like Harold in that scene where they are in the truck with Freakshow and Kumar is yapping to Harold about Freakshow’s erupting zits and Harold is like, “HE… CAN… HEAR… YOU.”  I kept making awkward smiles towards them, and said “Mmmm, your omelette looks good!” in a wobbly voice when our eyes met.

But it DID look good.  So I ordered it.  Spinach & mushroom omelette, and don’t you ever order anything else from there (no, don’t even be tempted by the one with bacon and avocado).  Because this. omelette. was. the. bomb.

You can see it – no fold; just a dome covering a huge mess of perfectly wilted spinach, firmly seasoned mushrooms, and two kinds of oozy-creamy cheese (see top for the perfect bite; above for the dome-esqueness).  Like our own ozone layer, the egg was so very fluffy and fragile – the way I imagine it done by chefs when they are auditioning to work for Daniel Boulud.

This, in walking distance from my home!  Home to home-cooked omelette with homo in three minutes.  Awesome.

Judy’s Cafe
2268 Chestnut St.
San Francisco, CA 94123
415.922.4588

Raku Las Vegas

by janet on February 11th, 2010

When two foodies get together it’s ON.  When there are THREE together, well, everyone go get your portable mini-fans because there will be overheating, heavy breathing, and sweat.  When there are three PLUS a Dita von Teese lookalike who will make the rest of you look glamorous by her mere presence, well, that’s just beyond reasonable limits of outrageousness.

Our gang of four (me, Liz, Dita, and LL who got me, once, a T-shirt from Musha so you KNOW he’s legit), recently reunited in Las Vegas for a conference after half a year apart, celebrated our cheer by going to Raku.  God, that place is an oasis in that nasty, glitzy, dusty, spermy 89119.  It isn’t on the strip, but instead tucked in corner of a shopping center in the Asianey district of Vegas.

I have never seen such a Yelp-approved resto, in any city I’ve been to.  We began our happy dinner with a flight of sake.  Liz was reticent re: the nigori sake, but soon was contentedly slugging it back (told you!) and asking me the correct pronunciation of “sake.”  Technically, it is, phonetically, “saw-kay” instead of “socky,” but I understand very well how annoying it is, when, for example, someone will be speaking perfectly unaccented Nebraskan English and then shout “TAMA-LAY!” midsentence when discussing tamales.  So I bid her leave to call it socky and also to say carry-okie too.

I’ve been procrastinating on this post because I have been trying to find adequate words to describe this tofu.  Official title: Raku’s Tofu, and you know something that bears the restaurant’s name must be good.  Oh, I wasn’t prepared, though – I wasn’t prepared!  For god’s sake, it’s just tofu!  But how could this be tofu?  This was a silken jelly of the deities.  The pattern you see is what was left behind by the half-moon basket that the tofu was made in.  It was not salty, but covered the back of your tongue and lingered intoxicatingly.  It was smooth and creamy but not in a mashed potato way but instead a slippery way, and dissolved in an achingly thrilling manner, like a bite of a room-temperature snowball.

I’m rambling and slightly incoherent.  This tofu didn’t even need condiments, but I just had to try one of their many very special accoutrements like this green salt that had seven different ingredients in it (including salt shipped from Okinawa – how’s that for not eating local?) and was made in-house.  They also had in-house soy sauce that took our server two verbal paragraphs just to describe how special it was.  Impressive.

Above was another melting eye-opener  - hamachi (yellowtail) carpaccio.  What in flippin hell was that sauce?  It was a ponzu-ish sauce but very pleasingly cloudy.  Just one lustrous bite of this sleek and oily fish turned us all instantly into enemies.  After all, six portions is not gracefully divisible by four.

Luckily, it was easy to get distracted as the food kept coming rapidly.  Raku’s full name is Abriya Raku, which is a bastardized spelling of aburiya, which means grill – meaning, specifically, grilled over charcoal.  So its specialties I think lie in the robata grill items.  Above are shishito peppers from the robata, described as “green hot chile pepper” but is always zero percent hot in my experience.  Just a dribble of the special soy sauce (watch the bonito flakes move and curl as if aliiiiive) and down the gullet it went.

Oh, make sure you discard yer stick things into the special made-for-it skewer holder.  Everything in its place and a place for everything.

Pictured above was one of the major triumphs of the night.  The unassumingly-named soba noodle salad, the dish was a “more than the sum of its parts” type ordeal, with tonburi (aka land/mountain/field caviar), thinly sliced daikon, fun streamers of nori, ginger, and one of those sauces that call to you, siren-like, to pick up the huge (not to mention communal) bowl and tip it into your mouth.

Another soaring note was the butter sauteed scallop with soy sauce, pictured top.  Each of the four of us got our own too-pretty-to-be-hidden-by-a-scallop-shell dish that was hidden by a scallop shell, and that contained a buttery briney liquid that lovingly surrounded a grilled scallop.  Some members of our party had to put their chopsticks down and say “Oh.”  I could have had a meelyon of these.  I think I even said that, just like that.

Also from the grill – enoki mushrooms wrapped in bacon.  Enoki is like natto – I understand how it is Fear Factor-esque, both in looks (tentacley!) and in mouth-feel (chew forever and you still feel like you can’t swallow without choking) but to me (also like natto) it is like drugs.  Wrap it in bacon and you have (also in taste and looks) an umami-filled mini-volcano eruption.

Yelpers insisted that we order the fluffy cheesecake.  I see why.  It was very foodie-cool.  The bottom was a soggy (in a toe-curlingly delicious way) graham cracker type substance – a very thin layer; perhaps a fourth of a centimeter tall.  On the other end – the top – was a frond of fennel!  Surprising and cheerful!  The cake itself is difficult to describe.  Fluffy is a good start.  I look at this picture and I am perplexed as to how that fluffiness is even holding up those heavy raspberry fourths.  All of it was exactly zero sweet.  Maybe the raz sauce, but otherwise, this “cake” was more tart and salty than anything else.  Naturally, I hoovered that shit.

Wow.  I am re-reading this post (YES I proofread these, shoot) and it’s rather…oleaginous.  I will stop here.  But reading this, you must be relieved that you finally have somewhere to eat in Vegas that isn’t cheesy or expensive, no?  Not to mention smashingly tasty.

OK.  I’ll stop.

Abriya Raku

5030 W.Spring Mountain Rd #2,Las Vegas, NV 89146

702.367.3511

Lemon Blender Pie

by janet on February 7th, 2010

Do you want the world’s easiest pie recipe?  No joke here.  All you need is a blender.  You can make the pie crust (I use Jeffrey Steingarten’s method, where you take tiny cubes of butter and just sift it repeatedly through your fingers with flour) or just use store-bought, but in any case it comes out delicious and impressive-looking.  I brought it to work and I got so many accolades – even an arm-pat from a famous professor.

Lemon Blender Pie – from somewhere on the interweb with search terms “easy” and “pie.”

1 large lemon
2 cups sugar
4 eggs
1 stick butter, melted

Take 1 whole large lemon, cut into quarters; remove seeds.

Blend lemon, sugar and eggs until fine puree. Pour in melted butter and continue blending at high speed 1 to 2 minutes.

Pour into an 9 inch uncooked pie shell and bake in 350° F preheated oven for 35 to 45 minutes or until center is set.

I topped with fresh sliced strawberries which I think are a must (see below).

So, do you see how the recipe just says “blend lemon, sugar, and eggs?”  So I squeezed the lemon juice into my pink Kitchenaid, at which point R2 said, “I think you put the actual lemon in it, with the skin and everything.”  I got all haughty, like, why should I take advice from someone who doesn’t know the proper term is rind, and why on earth would you put the entire rind in??  That would be bittersauce to the max!  But then R2, in his infinitely gentle way (i.e., “I know you’re the cook and I’m not doubting you at all, and this is probably stupid, but I wonder if X, Y, Z”), asked why the recipe would say “puree” if it were not calling for the “skin” and isn’t it telling us to use a blender, not a mixer?

He had me there.  These facts in combination with R2 encouraging me and saying vaguely relevant lines like, “With great power comes great responsibility!” and “Go big or go home!” but still with doubt exuding from my every pore, I put everything in the blender and blended.  The resulting liquid was … awesome.  Super duper tangy, a hint of bitter, and sweet and creamy.

Into the pie shell and into the oven!  Then out, and berries on top.  To be honest, I just put the strawberries there to make it look beautiful, but it turned out that they were a superb complement to the sugary lemon filling and mellowed out the bitter.  And how darling is it to say, “Oh, yes, I baked this strawberry lemon pie?” rather than “yah foolz it’s a lemon blender pie yo.”

I sent a picture and the recipe to Tinx and Daniel, and Tinx made it that very same day.  Both she and I noted that it needed more than the 45 mins to really set, so watch out for that.  Also, perhaps reduce the rind to 3/4ths or something (and supplement with a little more juice) to cut out some of the excessive bitterness.

It hurt my soul a little bit to use strawberries in the wintertime (and lemons, for that matter – what season do lemons come around in??) since I’m trying to be good about that kind of shit, but lately in my box it’s been collard greens and butternut squash and leeks and leeks and butternut squash and collard greens and greens and leeks and squash and leeks and squash and greens.  Plus I got to experience that little lift when I cooed, “I know strawberries aren’t in season and I detest eating out of season, but…”

This Bear’s Been Naughty…

by Daniel on January 28th, 2010

Wow wow wee wow. You know, this blogging thing is pretty easy. I mean, look at this! My THIRD post in just as many days! My guess is you may be questioning whether or not you like the fact that I am invading your mind so often. Shhhhh! Don’t question! Just let it happen.

Before you start searching for Janet, hoping she’ll save you by posting something cute or by banishing me, you should know she’s at a conference in the City of Sin for the next few days. It’s probably why I’m in here writing about random things all willy-nilly. Just bear with it for a few days and breathe your sigh of relief when Janet gets back.

Speaking of bears (see what I did there? so clever.), I’d like to bring your attention to an upcoming game titled Naughty Bear, brought to us by 505 Games and Artificial Mind and Movement. Slated for the PS3 and Xbox 360, it is about a scorned teddy bear going rogue and subsequently terrorizing the other teddy bears. Sounds like just the kind of sick and twisted premise that we here at MTFB love to revel in right? Right! And since this blog is about More Than (a) Food (Blog), I think it’s high time we got the “More Than” in here.

Here’s the first trailer, pretty tame:

Aaaaaaand here’s the second:

Brilliant. Dark. Twisted. Cute. We have so many things in common, this game and I. It is set to drop some time this year, but I recall seeing somewhere that it may even be the first or second quarter of 2010Twenty-dime.” If all this isn’t enough to get you interested, let me hit you with this screenshot from the comment section of this post over at Kotaku, where bear puns were running rampant. I’ve (poorly, using MS Paint, no access AGAIN to Photoshop) circled and underlined the more important parts if you don’t get it the first time around.

It’s an intersection of video games, making fun of bears, and the social phenomenon known as Cougars. What more could you want?

If you’re looking for a way to not so subtly get out your anger at when your kids or siblings leave their toys around or if you have been waiting for something like this to express and channel your rage at your poor toy selection as a child, keep an eye out for Naughty Bear, he might be just what you need.