Archive for the ‘love’ Category

Call me Dr. More Than a Food Blog

Friday, May 22nd, 2009

Hi ladies and gents and all manner of cute animals!  I’m sorry to have dropped off the face of the earth.  I was busy getting a Ph.D., and just defended my dissertation on Monday!  So you can now officially call me Dr. MTFB.  Happiness.

Above is the first picture that came up when I googled “kitten doctor.”  I’m not THAT kind of doctor, nor am I a tiny furry creature, and I know how to put on a shirt correctly unlike this dumbass kitteh, but I like it nonetheless.

So!  I’m back on the eating & posting train!  Thanks for checking back!  <3

Pops Chicago

Sunday, March 15th, 2009

Sharisa: Pops!
Others: [Not listening] Where should we grab a drink?
Sharisa: Popospopspopspopspops!
Others: [Still not listening] Can we go somewhere other than the damn lobby bar? I’m sick of martinis.
Sharisa: POPSPOPSPOPSPOPSPOPS!

So, she wasn’t hicupping. She was trying to communicate that we should go to Pops, which is a champagne bar in the Magnificent Mile (that sounds dumb. Miracle Mile is so much cooler) area of downtown Chicago. It was barely a three-block walk from our hotel, on the way to our dinner rezzies at Frontera (post forthcoming!) Grill, and just perfect.

Drew, who wasn’t going with us because she had a date with a Chicago “friend” (in quotation marks because he was one of those friend-who-so-dearly-wants-to-marry-you-even-though-you’ve-told-him-a-thousand-times-you-have-a-boyfriend friends … one of those friend-who-texts-you-multiple-stanza-poems friends … one of those “Oh, you now need me to pick you up at Pops? Ok, well make sure you stay in the upper floor near a window because the lower floor of that restaurant doesn’t get any cell reception and I want to be able to reach you when I pick you up at 8:55 on the dot” friends), decided she couldn’t miss out and came with us.

The menu is extensive. We obv skipped the Jacquesson 1990 Avize Grand Cru Dégorgement Tardif since I didn’t bring enough cash to spend $1250, and settled on a relatively cheapie cheap Prosecco. We fretted to our server (whom Liz called “attractive” and we all jumped down her throat. Attractive if you’re Charlotte from Sex and the City, maybe) over whether to get the half bottle or a bottle or a half bottle or a bottle do we have time for a whole bottle probably not but will half a bottle be enough etc. for a long time, and instead of taking the easy up-sell, he said “We can surely work out a half bottle for the four of you.” and eased our mental suffering.

This on top of the bouncer getting us a prime table in the window (we seated Drew immediately adjacent to the window for maximal cell reception) even though we yelled “WE’RE ONLY HAVING ONE DRINK!!!” as we were walking in. Very nice, these Chicagoans.

Liz got some sort of peach bellini with peach foam. She gave me a taste. Lordie. When I was a kid, I was allowed to have the foamy head only off of my parents’ beers. I sucked Liz’s foam the way I imbibed said beer foam as a child – like my life depended on it. Delish!

When Drew’s “date” pulled up (we all wondered what sort of car he [hedge fund lawyer] would drive – I kept a lookout for either a Mercedes or an unmarked van) in a BMW and she scampered off, probably mortified that we were waving at her date SO HARD with cheesy grins on our faces. Cuteness all around.

Pops for Champagne
601 North State Street at Ohio
312.266.7677

I had beets – what did Barack have?

Wednesday, January 21st, 2009

I know Barack hates beets. This is the ONLY area in which we differ in opinion.

So I knew beets wouldn’t show up on the Inauguration Luncheon. But aren’t you curious what did?

Well, first of all, it was only three courses. What? I guess inauguration day is a little busy, but you’d think the most important day of the country’s life would call for at least 7 courses, and, if not, at least a truffle or two!

But nope. Just…pheasant.

Read on for the entire menu, including RECIPES!

First Course: Seafood Stew
Yield: 10 servings
Ingredients
6 (1 Lb) Maine lobsters
20 medium size Sea scallops
36 Large shrimp, peel, cleaned and tail removed, aprox. 2 lbs.
10 (1 oz) pieces of black cod
½ cup small dice carrots
½ cup small dice celery
½ cup small dice leek
½ cup small dice Idaho potato
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon ground white pepper or black pepper
¼ teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 quart heavy cream
1 cup dry vermouth (can be made without)
10 (5 inch) puff pastry rounds

Equipment
10 (3 ½ inch) terrines/ramekins or serving dish of your choice

Directions
1. Bring 1 gallon of water to a boil; poach lobsters, then shrimp, then black cod and last scallops. After seafood is cooked, remove from water; reserve water and bring to boil.
2. Cook all vegetables in liquid that was used for the seafood, remove vegetables when tender. Allow the liquid to continue to boil until only 1qt of liquid remains. This will be the base for the sauce.
3. Bring seafood liquid back to a boil and add the vermouth and heavy cream and reduce by half, season with salt, white pepper and nutmeg to taste. You have reached your desired thickness when the sauce will cover the back of a wooden spoon. Set aside to cool.
4. Cut Maine lobster, shrimp and scallops into bite size pieces.
5. Pre-heat oven at 400 degrees.
6. Fold seafood and vegetables into cool sauce, being careful not to mix too much as this will break up the seafood. Scoop mixture into terrines or oven proof baking dish of your choice.
7. Cover terrines with puff pastry rounds, brush them with egg wash and bake them until golden
brown about 8-10 minutes, allow to cool for 5 minutes before serving. You can cook this 2-3 hours ahead of time and keep warm at 150 F degrees.
*All seafood can be substituted with other favorite options of your choice and availability.

Second Course: Duck Breast with Cherry Chutney
Yield: 10 servings
Ingredients
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
½ cup chopped onion (1 small)
3 garlic cloves, crushed
1 tablespoon finely chopped shallot
½ teaspoon black pepper
½ teaspoon ground cumin
Scant ¼ teaspoon dried hot red pepper flakes
¾ teaspoon salt
½ cup coarsely chopped red bell pepper (½ medium)
1 plum tomato, coarsely chopped
¼ cup dry red wine
1 ½ to 2 tablespoons cider vinegar
2 tablespoons sugar
½ teaspoon Dijon mustard
1 can (3 cups) Bing cherries, quartered *Oregon brand
½ cup Golden Raisins
10 (6 oz.) boneless duck breasts with skin
2 tablespoons water
1 tablespoon chopped fresh tarragon or chives

Method for chutney and glaze
Heat oil in a 2 to 3 quart heavy saucepan over moderate heat until hot but not smoking, then cook onion, garlic, and shallot, stirring occasionally, until golden, about 7 minutes. Add tomato paste, black pepper, cumin, hot pepper flakes, and 1/4 teaspoon salt and cook, stirring, 30 seconds. Reduce heat to medium and add bell pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, about 5 minutes.

Stir in wine, vinegar (to taste), and sugar and simmer approx 5 minutes. Stir in mustard, 1 1/2 cups cherries, and remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt and simmer 1 minute. Allow to cool slightly and reserve all but ¼ cup of the mix to the side. Place1/4 cup mix in a blender and puree until very smooth, about 1 minute (use caution when blending hot liquids). Reserve for glazing duck. To finish the chutney, add the remaining 1 ½ cups of cherries, tarragon, chives and all the golden raisins. Can be prepared one day ahead.

Put oven rack in middle position and preheat oven to 450°F. Score duck skin in a crosshatch pattern with a small sharp knife and season duck all over with salt and pepper.

Heat water in an ovenproof 12-inch heavy skillet over low heat until hot, then add duck, skin side down. Cook duck, uncovered, over low heat, without turning, until most of fat is rendered (melted) and skin is golden brown, about 25 minutes.

Transfer duck to a plate and discard all but 1 tablespoon fat from skillet. Brush duck all over with cherry glaze and return to skillet, skin side up.

Roast duck in oven until thermometer registers 135°F, about 8 minutes for medium-rare. Remove from oven and allow to rest for 5 minutes.

Holding a sharp knife at a 45-degree angle, cut duck into slices. Serve with cherry chutney and
molasses whipped sweet potato.

Herb Roasted Pheasant with Wild Rice Stuffing
Yield: 10 portions

Ingredients
10 Pheasant breast, boneless, remove tenders and reserve for stuffing, cut small pocket in side of breast for stuffing
½ cup Olive oil with chopped rosemary, thyme and sage
1 lb. Wild rice, long grain
2 quarts Chicken stock or canned chicken broth
2 Carrots, diced
½ Onion, diced
½ cup Dried apricot, small diced
1 Tablespoon Salt and pepper mix
2 Tablespoons Garlic, roasted

Directions
1. Boil the rice with the chicken stock, cook until soft and most of the liquid is gone.
2. Add the onion, carrot, garlic and apricot. Cook until the vegetables are soft and all liquid has been absorbed. Refrigerate rice mixture until cold.
3. In a food processor, puree pheasant tenders to a paste consistency to use as a binder for rice mix.
4. When rice is cool, add the pheasant puree to the rice until well mixed. Adjust seasoning with salt and pepper and return to refrigerator until ready to stuff.
5. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
6. Make 10 small football shaped patties of the rice mix, stuff inside the pheasant, being careful not to overstuff the pheasant. Rub herb/oil mixture on top and bottom of the pheasant, season with salt and pepper. Place the pheasant on a heavy gauge roasting pan and then in a preheated oven for approximately 8-10 minutes. Remove from oven and cover with lid or foil and allow to rest for 10 minutes. Serve over sauté of spinach.
*Pheasant can be substituted with chicken.

Molasses Whipped Sweet Potatoes
Yield: 2 quarts

Ingredients
3 large sweet potatoes, about 3 pounds
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 teaspoon kosher salt
¼ cup orange juice
½ tablespoon of brown sugar
1 tablespoon of molasses
1 teaspoon of ground cumin
2 tablespoons maple syrup

Directions
1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
2. Place sweet potatoes on a baking sheet and roast until easily pierced with a fork, about 1 hour.
3. Peel the skin off of the sweet potatoes while still hot.By hand or mixer, smash potatoes until all large chunks are gone. Combine the potatoes, butter, salt, orange juice, brown sugar, ground cumin, molasses and maple syrup in a large bowl. Continue to mix all together until all lumps are gone.
4. Adjust any of the seasonings to your specific tastes. Can be made the day before.

Winter Vegetables
Yield: 10 servings

Ingredients
2 bunches Asparagus, green, bottom 1/3 of stem removed
2 lbs. Carrots, peeled, cut oblong or large dice
1 lb. Baby Brussel Sprouts, fresh,cleaned or frozen can be used
1 lb. Wax Beans, ends snipped
2 oz Butter
1 each Zest from orange
4 oz. Olive oil
Salt and Pepper to taste.

Directions
Asparagus: preheat grill or large heavy bottom sauté pan. Rub 2 oz of olive oil on asparagus and season with pinch of salt and pepper. Lay flat on grill or sauté pan until lightly browned. Using long fork or tongs, rotate the asparagus to brown other sides. Usually 2 or 3 minutes per side. The asparagus is done when you can use a fork to cut through. Do not overcook, this will cause asparagus to become stringy. Keep warm until ready to serve.

Carrots: bring 3 qt salted water to a boil, add carrots to water and cook until fork tender, meaning a fork will easily pass through the carrot. Drain the water from the pot and toss 1 oz butter and zest of orange and mix until carrots are coated. Season with pinch of salt and enjoy. Keep warm until ready to serve.

Brussel Sprouts: For Fresh: Bring 3 qt salted water to a boil, cut into the stem of the sprout with a pairing knife to create an X on the bottom, this will allow the stem to cook more evenly. Place sprout in boiling water and allow to cook until bottom of sprout is tender and easily cut with a knife. Preheat a heavy bottom sauté while the sprouts are cooking. Remove sprouts from water and allow all water to drain completely. Add 2 oz oil to sauté pan and add the sprouts, season with salt and pepper while tossing the sprouts around to evenly brown in the pan. If sprouts are too big, you can cut them in half, keep warm until ready to serve.
[For Frozen: Bring 3 qt salted water to a boil and drop frozen brussel sprouts into water, these are precooked so you are only thawing them out. Remove from water and sauté as above.]

Yellow Wax beans: bring 3 qt salted water to boil, add snipped wax beans to water and allow to cook until fork tender or to your liking of doneness. Remove from water and toss with 1 oz butter and season with salt and pepper.

Third Course

Cinnamon Apple Sponge Cake
Yield: 10 servings

Ingredients
Apple Filling
4 lbs Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and thinly sliced
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
¼ cup water
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup apple sauce
½ teaspoon ground nutmeg
¼ teaspoon salt
Grated zest from 1 lemon
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Bread Crust
14 tablespoons unsalted butter, melt 10 of tablespoons
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
34 slices brioche bread (or white bread)

Equipment
10 Ceramic baking ramekins or metal molds (3” diameter)

Sauce
2 cups caramel sauce(store bought)
2 cups granny smith apples, peeled, cored, diced small
Pinch sugar
Pinch cinnamon
1 tablespoon butter

Ice Cream
1 quart vanilla ice cream

Preparation

Filling
1. Melt butter in 6-quart saucepan over medium-low heat. Add apples and caramelize, add water, cook, stirring occasionally for 15 to 20 minutes, or until apples are completely soft. Remove cover and add sugar, nutmeg and salt. Increase heat to medium-high and continue to cook, stirring apples frequently, until liquid has completely evaporated, about 10 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in lemon zest, apple sauce and vanilla. Set aside to cool while making crust. The filling can be made one day ahead

Making crust and assembly
1. Position oven rack in lower third of oven and preheat to 425°F. Grease 8 ceramic dishes with 1 tablespoon butter. Sprinkle sugar in dish and tilt to coat bottom and sides. Tap out excess sugar and set aside.
2. Using a bread knife, remove crusts from bread. Center the bottom of mold over one of the bread squares. Cut around mold to form circle to use as the top. Make a total of 20 of these round pieces. Ten will be for the bottom and 10 will be used for the top. Dip each one in melted butter and place at the bottom of mold.
3. Cut each of the 15 remaining slices of bread into four rectangular pieces. Dip one side of each strip in the melted butter and arrange strips, upright, around the inside of molds, buttered-sides against mold and overlapping by about 1/2” to completely line mold. Use 6 rectangles to line the mold.
4. Spoon the apple filling into bread-lined molds, mounding it slightly in center.
5. Take the remaining ten rounds of bread and dip pieces of bread into the melted butter and place on top of filling, buttered-sides up. Press down lightly.
6. Bake for 30 minutes, then cover top loosely with aluminum foil. Bake for an additional 15-20
minutes, until top is deep golden brown and side slices are golden brown (slide a thin-bladed knife between bread and pan to check). Remove from oven, uncover, and let rest for 15 minutes on wire rack. Run thin-bladed knife around edges of molds to be able to flip the mold out onto serving plates.
7. For the apple cinnamon caramel sauce, sauté 1 cup of peeled and diced Granny Smith apples in butter, add a pinch of sugar and cinnamon. Allow to cook until apples are lightly browned and all sugars have dissolved. Remove from heat and add 2 cups caramel sauce to the apples and stir to coat apples.

To Assemble
Pour caramel apple sauce over warmed apple cakes and serve with your favorite vanilla ice cream.

Go here for menu plus wine pairings!

WANT: Obama Cuppycakes

Monday, January 19th, 2009

I can’t even properly watch the inauguration because I’m in interviewland, but I will be enjoying the happy lift in my heart all day tomorrow.

I also can’t enjoy these Obama cupcakes because I’ll be out of town, but if you’re in LA pick up some of these! Better yet, overnight ship some to my hotel, will ya? Kthnxbai.

Getcher Obamacakes here!

The Counter: Adventure in Blind Dating

Monday, October 6th, 2008

In case you missed the awkwardness [you know, the jumping around of ConsumerMachine, this new MTFB site, etc.), I have now been single for seven months.  Being single, apparently, is completely intolerable to all of my friends who insist on pushing me to fall in love with someone and have babies yesterday.  I had been reluctant until I got an email from Saxy, who has impeccable taste in men (well, man – her husband is a doll) and is smart and usually has good judgment.  Her email extolled the virtues of her friend Christopher [“surfing, yoga-ing, bass-playing lawyer” who is “a total catch”] so I agreed to be set up on a blind date.

A BLIND DATE?!  I have never been on a fucking blind date!  My boss at the gym found me flat-ironing my hair in the locker room in preparation and said, “Good for YOU for putting yourself out there!”  I thought that was kind of a weird thing to say and I felt somewhat like some sort of elderly divorcee who is weary of men but was encouraged by her therapist to be brave and meet new people.

Christopher and I had agreed to meet at The Counter – an excellent choice on his part!  Cute, casual, but with a full bar – critical to socially lubricate the situation.  I got there 15 minutes early and then my brain started freaking me out.  I realized I had no idea what he looked like (he knew what I looked like kind of because apparently I had been at a party where he was?).  How was I supposed to figure out who he was?  I dreaded the awkward moments of making slighty-too-long eye contact with every youngish guy in the restaurant to see if it was him.  I sat in my car and wailed “Why DID I put myself out therrrrrrrre?!?!?”

I indulged the panic for 5 minutes, listened to some soothing NPR for 5 more minutes, and walked in. There were no guys hanging out by themselves so I figured he wasn’t there yet.  I waited outside, Facebooking on the trusty iPhone, until someone walked up and said, “Versatile black dress?”

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I had told him that even though I should be wearing, according to blind date custom, a dress in a distinctive hue or holding a book with a rose as a bookmark, that I would be wearing a black dress which is sooo versatile that it would surely work for a blind date.

Anyway, I looked up… and up, and up to see a super tall, extremely cute guy.  Phew.

 

We went inside and sat down with our burger checklists.  Oh, great.  An opportunity to reveal the depths of my neurotic indecision craziness within 2 minutes of the date starting.  I mean, a choice of ten cheeses, EIGHTEEN toppings, ten premium toppings, another EIGHTEEN sauces?  Jesus. Good start, good start.

Luckily, however, C was just as much of an indecisive freak as I was, and we struggled over our choices for many many minutes.  In fact, the table next to us sat down after us, ordered, got their burgers, and started eating before we even figured out what we wanted. I wavered between Danish blue cheese, horseradish cheddar, Tillamook chedar, back to blue, then to Gruyere, then on to herb goat cheese spread, then back to horseradish.

Then toppings? Avocado (a premium topping) was a strong contender.  4 toppings are included, and I had to resist the urge to exercise my right to all four.  I saw myself easily creating some disgusting monstrosity of a burger by combining pickles, cranberries, roasted corn & black bean salsa, and sprouts or something.

As C veered sensibly off into traditional burger territory with cheddar, bacon, lettuce, pickles and roasted garlic aioli on a turkey burger, I ended up somewhere completely weird (despite my intense efforts described in the previous paragraph) with Danish blue, dill pickle chips, tomato, grilled pineapple (which I planned to take off and eat as dessert – a plan which he copy-catted), and apricot sauce on a turkey burger.  C politely cheered on my choice of pickles, saying that the crunch of a pickle is essential for a burger.  A TEXTURE EATER?! A man after my own heart!

We also got the “fifty-fifty” which required ANOTHER devastating choice – fries & sweet potato fries OR fries & onion strings OR sweet potato fries & onion strings.  Here I bucked up and made us get the two fries, pictured above.

 

So here is the burger, after I dragged off the pineapple. The blue cheese was SO INTENSE – it looked more like guacamole than cheese! It was so sharp it made my mouth tingly~!  I scraped off a little more than half of it and doused the whole thing with the runny, sticky apricot sauce, which was super with the turkey.  The turkey may as well have been veal, with that smoooth nice texture.  Still, the whole thing was weird and I regretted all my crazy choices.

Christopher enjoyed his more, I think, though he took issue with the lettuce, which was not a nice sheaf of lettuce but rather shredded strips.  Once again I silently approved of his nuanced appreciation of crunch, not to mention his knowledge of the word “sheaf.”

Anyway, there were no awkward silences, except for a moment where I looked like a total fucking douchebag when I left to pee right before the check got there and returned after he had paid. I was intending to go splitzies, I promise!  Then we went to the Joker, a nearby super dive bar (“A great place to go if you don’t want to talk to anyone” says one CitySearch reviewer), where he scored major points by putting More than a Feeling in the jukebox in honor of the blog (singing more than a food bloooooooog).  All in all, a total success – so glad I put myself out there.

 

The Counter
2901 Ocean Park Boulevard
Santa Monica CA 90405
310.399.8383 

The Joker
2827 Pico Blvd Santa Monica
CA 90405-1919
310.828.9235

Magic Flute

Tuesday, January 29th, 2008

Tinx and I lost our opera virginity to The Magic Flute, and it wasn’t at band camp, baby.

It was at the Orange County Performing Arts Center, put on by Opera Pacific. We crawled at a pace of 15 mph in the pouring rain down the 405; me with no sleep, no food, no caffeine, and the whitest of white knuckles placed at 10 and 2.

It was great! Specifically, SHE was great.

Nicole “Aren’t I gorgeous?” Cabell was her name, and she was simply M-azing. Why aren’t more people named Pamina? Cutes! The famed Queen of the Night, played by Luz del Alba, was super good, too. She kicked all three versions on iTunes’ ladies motherfucking ass on that aria. (( I had no idea the lyrics to this most famous refrain were “Hey you better kill that priest or else I’m disowning your ass.” The music sounds so triumphant, airy, happy…)) I had no complaints, except that in general German is super unromantic as a language for a love opera. It’s all “Ish” this and “Ish” that. Oh, and also, Mozart sucks at constructing storylines.

Anyway, all of this is relevant to CM because of this gem I found in my research:

In Opera Pacific’s production of The Magic Flute, Papageno (role sung by Rod Gilfry) will eat a bite or two of a real chicken leg during Act II; we have placed a damp napkin in the food basket so he can wipe his fingers and continue singing.

To which I say (a) COOL!; and (b) that shit was chicken that he was eating? Actually, not even that. More like (b) oh, those were HUMANS moving around down there? I thought those were sentient grains of rice wiggling around. You see, we were in the top tier of the theatre, seemingly a dizzying mile above the stage. It was still a freaking STEAL at $30, and now I’m craving opera as if it’s guacamole.

Top 10 Posts of 2007

Monday, December 31st, 2007

 

 

I feel like I *just* got used to writing “2007” on stuff, and now here I am, trying to figure out which 10 posts were my favorite from this year.

’07 was my first full year of blogging. Let’s see how I did… You know, Oprah says a marriage can’t survive unless you have sex 200 times a year. If that carries over to blogdom, we’re in trouble. We’re short exactly 69 posts…perhaps the universe is trying to tell me something.

Here are my favorite posts of this year, in reverse-alphabetical order:

1. Temecula Wineries.
Notable because: We drank wine out of chocolate shot glasses and I got the worst headache of my life – a migraine in both sides of my head.
Notable quote: “We woke up two hours later. Debbie said, ‘You two look so sexy lounging around in bed in bikinis.'”

 

2. Taste of Santa Monica Festival.
Notable because: It’s basically at 38-course tasting menu.
Notable quote: “I was spinning and nauseous and couldn’t decide if I wanted death or my bed.”

 

3. Takao.
Notable because: It was my favorite meal of 2007.
Notable quote: “Oh, shit. When the fish slid down my throat and coated it with the creamy smooth fish fat, it was amazing!”

 

 

 

4. Take 5.
Notable because: It was the most surreal encounter I had in 2007.
Notable quote: “I laughed weakly (though, ironically, when I think about it now I laugh for reals, ROFL style) and walked slowly out the door with my Take 5s.”

 

5. Simon’s Barf Bag.
Notable because: I knitted it.
Notable quote: “I, for one, start my day off with a refreshing glassful of Metamucil, because I don’t know if you heard but being regular is really cool.”

 

 

 

6. Shiru-bay.
Notable because: Maybe this was my favorite meal of 2007? I can’t decide!
Notable quote: “Like, we say “sea urchin roe” but it’s not the eggs; rather, it’s the gonads and and other organs.”

 

7. I adopted a Manatee! (and subsequently got him in stuffed animal format!)
Notable because: My manatee’s name is Deep Dent because he has a huge motorboat dent on his back.
Notable quote: “He is tiny and soft and fuzzy and shaped and sized just like a hamburger; makes it all the more difficult to resist eating him.”

 

8. Hilly-Billy Wedding.
Notable because: In all ways.
Notable quote: “In fact, the mother of the bride (the MOB was also the matron of honor because, as the bride said, “My momma is my best friend,” which is very hillbilly but really adorable) had to walk down the aisle twice, once with the bride’s true father and once with the bride’s stepfather (her third husband).”

 

9. Fondant Partaaay.
Notable because: of Esmerelda, you know?
Notable quote: “Shit, man. Fondant is easy. If even Esmerelda the Clumsytron could do it and make a living from it, I certainly could bang out a gorgeous cake for Shimi.”

 

10. Chocobeer.
Notable because: I let Simon choose one of the Top 10 and this is what he chose.
Notable quote: “Oregonians. There isn’t much to do up there, and so every Oregonian I have met has been a crazy mutant champion bowler.”

 

I hope 2007 was amazing for you all, and thanks for reading. Catch you in 2008!

Love,

*janet*