Archive for January, 2009

Family Vacay

Monday, January 26th, 2009

Imagine this scenario. You’re sitting at the kitchen table in your childhood home with a whole mess of extended family hanging out.

Your mom: You’re fat. Did you gain weight?
You: [thinking] If your first sentence ended with a period, why does your second sentence end with a fucking question mark?
You: [speaking] No, actually. Not that it’s any of your business.
Your creepy uncle through marriage: [uses the topic of conversation as an excuse to look at your boobs]
You: Sigh.

See? Real family vacations have the potential to suck. That’s why me and Daniel and Tinx and ReeRee and 11 other of our friends rented a condo in Lake Arrowhead to have a fun family vacation before heading off to our respective real things:

It slept fully 14 people if you count sofas, which meant that one poor soul had to sleep on the floor (NOSE GOES!). Being the elder by about half a decade, I got my own bed, though it was in a tiny room stuffed with two bunk beds and one of us (admittedly, could have been any one of us including me) went on a farting rampage in the middle of the night.

ANYWAY! On top of doing fun things like beer pong, Secret Santa, and choreographing dances to Womanizer, we also divided into three groups and each group was responsible for a meal. Daniel and I were assigned to the same group, and our meal was dinner.

Boo yeah! These lil’ kid mofos did NOT stand a chance against the MTFB might! Breakfast: Hash browns, eggs, and pancakes (albeit with homemade lemon blueberry sauce)? Bitch, please. Lunch: Yolanda’s super secret family recipe homemade tortilla soup? Don’t make me laugh. Actually both meals were super fucking awesome, but I’m not going to admit that in default font size.

Our menu:

Appetizers:
- Wedge salad with shallots and bacon with a cracked peppercorn ranch dressing
- Avocado eggrolls with a cilantro honey dip

Entree:
- Alice Springs Chicken (broiled chicken with a honey mustard sauce covered with cheddar and monterey jack cheese, topped with two slices of turkey bacon and sauteed mushrooms)
- Sauteed haricot vert with garlic
- Oven-roasted fingerling potatoes

Dessert:
- Duo of handmade truffles
- Chocolate peppermint martini with peppermint sugar rim

Then, Daniel got sick and didn’t come at all. So I had to wrangle four kitchen noobs into making this elaborate meal. Luckily Daniel had premade the cilantro honey dip, and I had premade the truffle ganache using this trusty recipe.

To pair with the truffles, half of which I rolled in crushed candy cane and half in cocoa powder (I left my Ghirardelli cocoa powder at home so I used Carnation instant mix that I found lying around – not as good but much milkier and sweeter), we made chocolate peppermint martinis. Except Daniel couldn’t find martini glasses when he was shopping so we went with margarita glasses. We both forgot that margarita glasses are margarita-sized, and when an ENTIRE handle of vodka was gone after making just 15 “martinis,” we realized we may be in trouble. And indeed we were. Fun, horrid-hangover-inducing trouble.

Anyway, the truffles are nestled on a smear of chocolate – just leftover chocolate chips melted over a double boiler, brushed with a pastry brush. Next time I think I’ll marble it with white chocolate so it doesn’t look weirdly penis-and-two-ballsey/smeared-shitty at the same time.


Click here to rent our exact cabin for yourself! Let the farting commence!

I had beets – what did Barack have?

Wednesday, January 21st, 2009

I know Barack hates beets. This is the ONLY area in which we differ in opinion.

So I knew beets wouldn’t show up on the Inauguration Luncheon. But aren’t you curious what did?

Well, first of all, it was only three courses. What? I guess inauguration day is a little busy, but you’d think the most important day of the country’s life would call for at least 7 courses, and, if not, at least a truffle or two!

But nope. Just…pheasant.

Read on for the entire menu, including RECIPES!

First Course: Seafood Stew
Yield: 10 servings
Ingredients
6 (1 Lb) Maine lobsters
20 medium size Sea scallops
36 Large shrimp, peel, cleaned and tail removed, aprox. 2 lbs.
10 (1 oz) pieces of black cod
½ cup small dice carrots
½ cup small dice celery
½ cup small dice leek
½ cup small dice Idaho potato
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon ground white pepper or black pepper
¼ teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 quart heavy cream
1 cup dry vermouth (can be made without)
10 (5 inch) puff pastry rounds

Equipment
10 (3 ½ inch) terrines/ramekins or serving dish of your choice

Directions
1. Bring 1 gallon of water to a boil; poach lobsters, then shrimp, then black cod and last scallops. After seafood is cooked, remove from water; reserve water and bring to boil.
2. Cook all vegetables in liquid that was used for the seafood, remove vegetables when tender. Allow the liquid to continue to boil until only 1qt of liquid remains. This will be the base for the sauce.
3. Bring seafood liquid back to a boil and add the vermouth and heavy cream and reduce by half, season with salt, white pepper and nutmeg to taste. You have reached your desired thickness when the sauce will cover the back of a wooden spoon. Set aside to cool.
4. Cut Maine lobster, shrimp and scallops into bite size pieces.
5. Pre-heat oven at 400 degrees.
6. Fold seafood and vegetables into cool sauce, being careful not to mix too much as this will break up the seafood. Scoop mixture into terrines or oven proof baking dish of your choice.
7. Cover terrines with puff pastry rounds, brush them with egg wash and bake them until golden
brown about 8-10 minutes, allow to cool for 5 minutes before serving. You can cook this 2-3 hours ahead of time and keep warm at 150 F degrees.
*All seafood can be substituted with other favorite options of your choice and availability.

Second Course: Duck Breast with Cherry Chutney
Yield: 10 servings
Ingredients
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
½ cup chopped onion (1 small)
3 garlic cloves, crushed
1 tablespoon finely chopped shallot
½ teaspoon black pepper
½ teaspoon ground cumin
Scant ¼ teaspoon dried hot red pepper flakes
¾ teaspoon salt
½ cup coarsely chopped red bell pepper (½ medium)
1 plum tomato, coarsely chopped
¼ cup dry red wine
1 ½ to 2 tablespoons cider vinegar
2 tablespoons sugar
½ teaspoon Dijon mustard
1 can (3 cups) Bing cherries, quartered *Oregon brand
½ cup Golden Raisins
10 (6 oz.) boneless duck breasts with skin
2 tablespoons water
1 tablespoon chopped fresh tarragon or chives

Method for chutney and glaze
Heat oil in a 2 to 3 quart heavy saucepan over moderate heat until hot but not smoking, then cook onion, garlic, and shallot, stirring occasionally, until golden, about 7 minutes. Add tomato paste, black pepper, cumin, hot pepper flakes, and 1/4 teaspoon salt and cook, stirring, 30 seconds. Reduce heat to medium and add bell pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, about 5 minutes.

Stir in wine, vinegar (to taste), and sugar and simmer approx 5 minutes. Stir in mustard, 1 1/2 cups cherries, and remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt and simmer 1 minute. Allow to cool slightly and reserve all but ¼ cup of the mix to the side. Place1/4 cup mix in a blender and puree until very smooth, about 1 minute (use caution when blending hot liquids). Reserve for glazing duck. To finish the chutney, add the remaining 1 ½ cups of cherries, tarragon, chives and all the golden raisins. Can be prepared one day ahead.

Put oven rack in middle position and preheat oven to 450°F. Score duck skin in a crosshatch pattern with a small sharp knife and season duck all over with salt and pepper.

Heat water in an ovenproof 12-inch heavy skillet over low heat until hot, then add duck, skin side down. Cook duck, uncovered, over low heat, without turning, until most of fat is rendered (melted) and skin is golden brown, about 25 minutes.

Transfer duck to a plate and discard all but 1 tablespoon fat from skillet. Brush duck all over with cherry glaze and return to skillet, skin side up.

Roast duck in oven until thermometer registers 135°F, about 8 minutes for medium-rare. Remove from oven and allow to rest for 5 minutes.

Holding a sharp knife at a 45-degree angle, cut duck into slices. Serve with cherry chutney and
molasses whipped sweet potato.

Herb Roasted Pheasant with Wild Rice Stuffing
Yield: 10 portions

Ingredients
10 Pheasant breast, boneless, remove tenders and reserve for stuffing, cut small pocket in side of breast for stuffing
½ cup Olive oil with chopped rosemary, thyme and sage
1 lb. Wild rice, long grain
2 quarts Chicken stock or canned chicken broth
2 Carrots, diced
½ Onion, diced
½ cup Dried apricot, small diced
1 Tablespoon Salt and pepper mix
2 Tablespoons Garlic, roasted

Directions
1. Boil the rice with the chicken stock, cook until soft and most of the liquid is gone.
2. Add the onion, carrot, garlic and apricot. Cook until the vegetables are soft and all liquid has been absorbed. Refrigerate rice mixture until cold.
3. In a food processor, puree pheasant tenders to a paste consistency to use as a binder for rice mix.
4. When rice is cool, add the pheasant puree to the rice until well mixed. Adjust seasoning with salt and pepper and return to refrigerator until ready to stuff.
5. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
6. Make 10 small football shaped patties of the rice mix, stuff inside the pheasant, being careful not to overstuff the pheasant. Rub herb/oil mixture on top and bottom of the pheasant, season with salt and pepper. Place the pheasant on a heavy gauge roasting pan and then in a preheated oven for approximately 8-10 minutes. Remove from oven and cover with lid or foil and allow to rest for 10 minutes. Serve over sauté of spinach.
*Pheasant can be substituted with chicken.

Molasses Whipped Sweet Potatoes
Yield: 2 quarts

Ingredients
3 large sweet potatoes, about 3 pounds
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 teaspoon kosher salt
¼ cup orange juice
½ tablespoon of brown sugar
1 tablespoon of molasses
1 teaspoon of ground cumin
2 tablespoons maple syrup

Directions
1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
2. Place sweet potatoes on a baking sheet and roast until easily pierced with a fork, about 1 hour.
3. Peel the skin off of the sweet potatoes while still hot.By hand or mixer, smash potatoes until all large chunks are gone. Combine the potatoes, butter, salt, orange juice, brown sugar, ground cumin, molasses and maple syrup in a large bowl. Continue to mix all together until all lumps are gone.
4. Adjust any of the seasonings to your specific tastes. Can be made the day before.

Winter Vegetables
Yield: 10 servings

Ingredients
2 bunches Asparagus, green, bottom 1/3 of stem removed
2 lbs. Carrots, peeled, cut oblong or large dice
1 lb. Baby Brussel Sprouts, fresh,cleaned or frozen can be used
1 lb. Wax Beans, ends snipped
2 oz Butter
1 each Zest from orange
4 oz. Olive oil
Salt and Pepper to taste.

Directions
Asparagus: preheat grill or large heavy bottom sauté pan. Rub 2 oz of olive oil on asparagus and season with pinch of salt and pepper. Lay flat on grill or sauté pan until lightly browned. Using long fork or tongs, rotate the asparagus to brown other sides. Usually 2 or 3 minutes per side. The asparagus is done when you can use a fork to cut through. Do not overcook, this will cause asparagus to become stringy. Keep warm until ready to serve.

Carrots: bring 3 qt salted water to a boil, add carrots to water and cook until fork tender, meaning a fork will easily pass through the carrot. Drain the water from the pot and toss 1 oz butter and zest of orange and mix until carrots are coated. Season with pinch of salt and enjoy. Keep warm until ready to serve.

Brussel Sprouts: For Fresh: Bring 3 qt salted water to a boil, cut into the stem of the sprout with a pairing knife to create an X on the bottom, this will allow the stem to cook more evenly. Place sprout in boiling water and allow to cook until bottom of sprout is tender and easily cut with a knife. Preheat a heavy bottom sauté while the sprouts are cooking. Remove sprouts from water and allow all water to drain completely. Add 2 oz oil to sauté pan and add the sprouts, season with salt and pepper while tossing the sprouts around to evenly brown in the pan. If sprouts are too big, you can cut them in half, keep warm until ready to serve.
[For Frozen: Bring 3 qt salted water to a boil and drop frozen brussel sprouts into water, these are precooked so you are only thawing them out. Remove from water and sauté as above.]

Yellow Wax beans: bring 3 qt salted water to boil, add snipped wax beans to water and allow to cook until fork tender or to your liking of doneness. Remove from water and toss with 1 oz butter and season with salt and pepper.

Third Course

Cinnamon Apple Sponge Cake
Yield: 10 servings

Ingredients
Apple Filling
4 lbs Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and thinly sliced
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
¼ cup water
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup apple sauce
½ teaspoon ground nutmeg
¼ teaspoon salt
Grated zest from 1 lemon
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Bread Crust
14 tablespoons unsalted butter, melt 10 of tablespoons
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
34 slices brioche bread (or white bread)

Equipment
10 Ceramic baking ramekins or metal molds (3” diameter)

Sauce
2 cups caramel sauce(store bought)
2 cups granny smith apples, peeled, cored, diced small
Pinch sugar
Pinch cinnamon
1 tablespoon butter

Ice Cream
1 quart vanilla ice cream

Preparation

Filling
1. Melt butter in 6-quart saucepan over medium-low heat. Add apples and caramelize, add water, cook, stirring occasionally for 15 to 20 minutes, or until apples are completely soft. Remove cover and add sugar, nutmeg and salt. Increase heat to medium-high and continue to cook, stirring apples frequently, until liquid has completely evaporated, about 10 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in lemon zest, apple sauce and vanilla. Set aside to cool while making crust. The filling can be made one day ahead

Making crust and assembly
1. Position oven rack in lower third of oven and preheat to 425°F. Grease 8 ceramic dishes with 1 tablespoon butter. Sprinkle sugar in dish and tilt to coat bottom and sides. Tap out excess sugar and set aside.
2. Using a bread knife, remove crusts from bread. Center the bottom of mold over one of the bread squares. Cut around mold to form circle to use as the top. Make a total of 20 of these round pieces. Ten will be for the bottom and 10 will be used for the top. Dip each one in melted butter and place at the bottom of mold.
3. Cut each of the 15 remaining slices of bread into four rectangular pieces. Dip one side of each strip in the melted butter and arrange strips, upright, around the inside of molds, buttered-sides against mold and overlapping by about 1/2” to completely line mold. Use 6 rectangles to line the mold.
4. Spoon the apple filling into bread-lined molds, mounding it slightly in center.
5. Take the remaining ten rounds of bread and dip pieces of bread into the melted butter and place on top of filling, buttered-sides up. Press down lightly.
6. Bake for 30 minutes, then cover top loosely with aluminum foil. Bake for an additional 15-20
minutes, until top is deep golden brown and side slices are golden brown (slide a thin-bladed knife between bread and pan to check). Remove from oven, uncover, and let rest for 15 minutes on wire rack. Run thin-bladed knife around edges of molds to be able to flip the mold out onto serving plates.
7. For the apple cinnamon caramel sauce, sauté 1 cup of peeled and diced Granny Smith apples in butter, add a pinch of sugar and cinnamon. Allow to cook until apples are lightly browned and all sugars have dissolved. Remove from heat and add 2 cups caramel sauce to the apples and stir to coat apples.

To Assemble
Pour caramel apple sauce over warmed apple cakes and serve with your favorite vanilla ice cream.

Go here for menu plus wine pairings!

WANT: Obama Cuppycakes

Monday, January 19th, 2009

I can’t even properly watch the inauguration because I’m in interviewland, but I will be enjoying the happy lift in my heart all day tomorrow.

I also can’t enjoy these Obama cupcakes because I’ll be out of town, but if you’re in LA pick up some of these! Better yet, overnight ship some to my hotel, will ya? Kthnxbai.

Getcher Obamacakes here!

Bacon, with, like, CHOCOLATE around it!

Thursday, January 15th, 2009

Hi. Don’t mind me. I’m just sulking in my apartment because Daniel is out at C&O’s with my roomie Tinx, who he is taking out for her birthday.

Me: Interesting how you didn’t take ME out to C&O’s for MY hatch day.
Daniel: Well I didn’t give TINX a giftcard to Lesportsac did I?
Me: Yes but being BFFs means I get to be unabashedly jealous whenever I want.
Daniel: Fair enough. I bought TEN boxes of Girl Scout Cookies today!!!
Me: SAMOAAAAAAS!

So. Normally when rejected, a girl reaches for chocolate. But I don’t like chocolate. And besides, there’s an Iron Chef on right now and it’s Battle BACON (how have they not thought of that before today!??!) and the challenger just made an Irish-bacon stuffed scallop wrapped in American bacon, thus all I want is bacoooooooooon!

Wait. There may be some sort of compromise that could happen here.

Enter Vosges’ Mo’s Bacon Bar. You’ve seen them at Whole Foods – I know you have. You probably pointed it out to your friends and laughed and placed the box back down, but I’m that type of chick who went ahead and purchased it. And ate it on the way to the cash register.

Granted, I am the sweet+savory monkey. So of COURSE I would love it. But listen. You like peanut butter filled pretzels, right? Well, think of the most gourmet, high-quality peanut butter pretzel, and then add another order of magnitude of rich decadence. That’s what it’s like.

Oh, shit! Judging time, gotta go get my salivation on. My three most favorite judges – Akiko Katayama, Mo Rocca, and of course, the man who I wish was my uncle, Jeffrey Steingarten!

Buy yo bacon here.

UPDATE: A fucking tie! Bah. I hate Bobby Flay, and this is why.

bld

Friday, January 9th, 2009

bld is a visual palindrome.

Chew on that for a moment…WITH YOUR EYES.

It’s also a restaurant in Hollyhood that my dearie Cara works at, or did until she relocated to the very chic Grace which is a sister restaurant. Cole and I went on a whim one day, bored with the usual West LA haunts. Bored, even, with Nook – can you believe it?

After squeals and hugs with Cara, we were seated at a lovely table. Actually, all the tables are lovely in that space. It’s so open and airy. And cute clicky-pen-type salt and pepper shakers.

Three separate people told us to get the fried chicken, which is usually a Tuesday night special, but they had it for lunch as a “special treat.” This screams “we didn’t sell enough last night so here’s some old chicken” but it DID sound good so we ordered it.

One entree down, we turned to the menu, which was very Janet-esque with subheadings like, “Still Breakfasty.” The decision was easy – Fried Egg Sandwich on toasted sourdough with nueske’s thick cut bacon, gruyere cheese, aioli, with Spanish Chorizo & Lomo Home Fries on the side.

Never content with just entrees, we also ordered the soup of the day – butternut squash with creme fraiche.

Hmm. It looks rather…ugly, doesn’t it? That’s because they forgot the creme fraiche, so they hurriedly rushed it out in a cream container, and this is Cole’s attempt at a pretty drizzle.

…good…job?

Shit, man. Is soupscoop.com still not taken? Cole is like a soup god. Whenever he’s around and one orders soup, it’s orgasmic.

Here’s the egg sammy. Why don’t I ever listen to silence? Specifically, to the ellipsis between when I order and when the server says, “…The fried egg sandwich? OK.”

I mean, it wasn’t bad. It was quite good. But just not as good as you’d imagine those ingredients tasting together. Same with the potatoes! A little dry – where’s the juicy chorizo fat?

Yeah! Fried chicken! Just LOOK at the batter on that shit! You know something’s tasty when the fries lay ignored for the duration of the meal. Crunchy, juicy, tender – the trifecta of good fried chicken. I wonder, though, if I loved it just because I never eat fried chicken? I mean, when’s the last time YOU ate fried chicken? I just typed “friend chicken” by mistake which also works. Totally! Fried chicken is yummy, therefore I like it, therefore it’s my friend. Oh, man. I was doing such a good job focusing on this post until I veered off into stream of consciousness land. Get it together, woman! Ummm… the collard greens were perfectly textured in the crunchy-squishy kind of way?

Finally, the cornbread, pictured top. Oh, looking at it now seems like the sauce has broken. It was some sort of spicy creamy. I really liked the cornbread, (a) because it had green flecks in it; and (b) because it had, like, CORNS in it!

bld
7450 Beverly Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90036
323.930.9744

An Important Message on Safety

Tuesday, January 6th, 2009

Whoo hoo 2009! And as Janet’s shown, now is the perfect time to set some goals for the upcoming year. Whether your resolution is to stop eating the maple donut just because you think it looks lonely, or to actually talk to the cute girl at the coffee shop on the corner -at least so you don’t have to drink the horrible coffee just so you can see her, I’m asking you to add just one more: Always keep safety in mind.

Ok so I realize that’s a pretty broad subject that could apply to anything. But I’m not about to make this post about safe sex or making sure you wear your safety goggles while you work in the chem lab. Nope. This is about general safety in your general adventures and/or do-it-yourself shenanigans.

Example #1:
Safety while cutting. A while back I posted about my homemade solution to having a trendy bar scene going on at your very own sophisticated par-tay. And what could be more sophisticated than throwing your own inauguration ball/dance/prom? So after you pick up the requisite shrimp platter but before you start cutting the cardboard for your own Lit Bar Shelf (there needs to be a better name for that), keep this in mind:

OK so that wasn’t the worst picture, but you get the idea. That little number was done using a standard all-purpose scissor. I literally cut a chunk of my palm off. Hopefully now that you have that image seared into your brain (and if not, stare at it and think about what you would name it), you’ll always be sure to keep your body parts free of any harmful apparatus, because Hand does not equal Cardboard. If you plan on attempting any type of carpentry/craft(ery?)/knife work, perhaps you should invest in these:

This is totally a Psycho-style Knife Thrust Fail, but it clearly demonstrates the awesomeness that is a cut resistant glove. Can you imagine how bad things could have turned out if I had been drunk during that last project? Maybe I need to get some gloves.

Speaking of being drunk…

Example #2:
If you were to look in my desk drawer, you’d find two cardboard eye patches, one with a creepy blue eye drawn on to mismatch my brown one, and one that says “Don’t Peek!” While these things may somehow fit my career as a sometimes pirate, it is actually detrimental to my accounting work. So what’s the deal?

My friends know by now that sometimes when I over-partake of fine wines and strong spirits, I run into some issues with my eyes. Specifically, I have now on two occasions managed to scratch my cornea.

If you’ve never had this pleasure, let me just say that it feels like there is always something stuck in your eye and it makes your eye extremely sensitive to light. I had to turn off the lights in my office and spent most of the time crying from the pain my own computer screen caused me. Maybe this is just something that happens to me, but in the off-chance that there are others out there that suffer from this, I urge you to heed my warning after your inauguration party winds down and you head to bed. But be advised: I once had the presence of mind to remind myself I was drunk and shouldn’t take out my contacts. I failed anyway because I woke up the next morning missing the left contact anyway.

Lucky for me there’s a wikiHow on How to Remove Contact Lenses.

Anyway, now that we’re done with my display of undeniably fantastic motor skills, I have one last suggestion: If you’ve really got an itch to be extremely crafty and/or creative, but don’t have the knowledge nor materials to complete your idea, head over to Ponoko.com. You can either submit your own designs or ask an expert to help you out in creating whatever your overactive brain can think up.

New Year’s Resolutions

Saturday, January 3rd, 2009

Happy New Year! Hard to believe it’s 2009 already. Remember when people were freaking out about how that Prince song wouldn’t be relevant anymore in 2000? Seems like just yesterday.

Anyway, I was thinking about my New Year’s Resolutions, and to hold myself accountable, I will post them here on MTFB.

But first, let’s check on how I did on last year’s resolutions.

Last Year’s Resolution #1: Stop Eating When Full
Very difficult for a food blogger. I think I did best during summertime, when it’s more uncomfortable to eat till bursting. But summertime also equals flowy summer dresses, which makes it more comfortable to overeat. Hmmm. I think I give myself an A- on this one; big fat F when intoxicated.

Last Year’s Resolution #2: Be OK With Leaving Food On Plate
Wait, this is the same thing as Resolution #1, I think. Can you tell it’s very difficult for me to not overstuff my tum?

Last Year’s Resolution #3: Eat Slower
Are you sensing a pattern here? I’m embarrassed.

Let’s move on.

This Year’s Resolution #1: Become a Locavore
Locavore” was New Oxford English Dictionary’s Word of the Year in 2007. I think locavoreianism (doubtful that this the correct term) also often means eating organic from farmer’s markets and such, and since I live walking distance from the country’s best farmer’s market, I should really get on that shit. This resolution also means devoting more of my budget to food, which I should be OK with, but there’s some cheapie Asian DNA squiggled inside my cells that I have to fight, so.

This Year’s Resolution #2: Be Able To Do A Pull-Up
After I spent several uncomfortable (for her) minutes creepily yet brazenly watching a badass chick at the gym do them, I was inspired. I made my hand into a fist and said “She WILL be MINE!” even though that wasn’t the right idiom (it was the closest saying that expressed my inspiration), making the situation even more awkward for her I’m sure. The key to this resolution is which grip I’ll be resolving to do. Underhand, parallel, overhand, mixed, modified one-hand grip with towel and without, etc. etc.

This Year’s Resolution #3: Spend Less Time Online Looking At Cats
Hey! I’m NOT a cat lady. In fact, I’m allergic to the point where I get skin rashes when I’m around cats. But I spend what probably amounts to weeks, cumulatively, looking at the critters on Stuff On My Cat, I Can Has Cheezburger, Daily Kitten, and, when they show up, on Cute Overload. This must stop.

This Year’s Resolution #4: Blog At Least 5 Times Per Month
Daniel is in on this resolution as well. This means at least 10 posts per month, which means at least one every three days, which is acceptable, right?

I hope so, because I don’t want to be that bitch who’s like, “Why you never call me?” and then never pick up the phone when you do call. Because I love you.

Many happy returns on the year~! Go 2009!