I was being suuuuuuper lazy today (on account of the whole “I-got-a-Ph.D.-now-I-be-lazay” thing) and was watching some Top Chef reruns (PS – how amazing does Top Chef Masters look?!? And with a hot EAST Asian chick host!?!) and the episode from the one-balled CJ season came on with Govind Armstrong as the guest judge.
Which made me think “Oh shit! I really need to blog my visit to 8 oz Burger Bar…” and prompted me to open iPhoto to dig the pictures out, at which point I remembered why I hadn’t done so – because the pictures were kinda shitty. Oh well. The story behind my trip there is worth a couple blurry shots getting out there and ruining my limited photo cred.
They do not take reservations, but the chick on the phone assured me that the wait would only be 10 minutes at most. I said REALLY? On a Friday night?!? And she said yes.
So we rolled up at around 8:30, and the hostess said it would be about a 25-minute wait. Ugh. Everyone was roaming around the entrance so I told her we would be at the bar. She said great. I said “Will you remember that we’re over there? We’ll be at the bar. Will you remember?” and she said yes. Alrighty then.
We waited and waited, and, being cognizant of the time crunch given the show that Christopher and I were going to, we decided to just eat at the bar. Pictured top are the Fried Olives Stuffed With Chorizo, which I found heavenly but C said they merely tasted like fried olives stuffed with chorizo. And the problem with that is…?
We also ordered the Suds & Slider Sampler, which came with three 5oz beer pours and one each of Triple Prime Beef Slider, Wild Boar Slider, and Niman Ranch Lamb slider. I have long forgotten what kind of beerz they were, but all were either super hoppy or dark. The boar was on the dry side but had really nice flavor, and the lamb slider made me say, muffledly, “Oh! Oh! Oh!” and shove the other half in Christopher’s face so he could eat the deliciousness, stat. He, however, was continuing on his Scrooge train and was like, “Meh.” Meh? MEH? [After heated discussion, he came around to the much more defensible viewpoint that perhaps he is just not a sliders kinda guy. I understood. He's very large so it would be as if I were forced to eat a burger the size of a truffle - how good could that be?]
We both, however, could get behind the yumminess of this monster – the 8oz Burger, consisting of their house blend of sirloin, tri-tip, short rib, and chuck cured in their Himalayan salt-tiled locker (schmancy!), iceberg, tomato, pickle, white onion, and 8 oz. special sauce. We rehashed our lettuce sheaf conversation but otherwise I loved the dark toast on the bun and of course whatever magic the salt-tiled locker imparted into the patty, which, like a zit (in a good way), gushed out juice when you squeezed it. Mmmm.
I was midway through enjoying my burgers when the bartender went CLANK! and spilled a full glass of water onto the bar, which drizzled a bit into my lap. Boo hiss.
Then the hostess came by (now a full 65 minutes after we had arrived) and said, “Oh, THERE you are! I’ve been looking for you guys! Your table is ready.” I told her we had long since given up on our table and that we were (clearly) already eating. She seemed miffed but jeez – you saw how I had anticipated this problem and made SURE she knew where we would be, right? Dummy.
So I took a big breath, re-tousled my hair to look pretty, shot the rest of one of the 5 oz suds, and snagged the arm of the guy who I thought might be the manager. I said, “Are you the manager?” and he said, “Yes” and I said, “I’m so sorry to bother you, but we were told our wait would be 25 minutes, and the hostess just now told us our table would be ready, which is FORTY minutes after she said. We have tickets to a show so we couldn’t wait so we just had to eat here at the bar. And on top of that your bartender just spilled an entire drink into my lap, and I was just wondering…” and he said, “Oh, yes, I talked to the hostess and she said she couldn’t find you guys,” and I dug in my heels and said, “NO, I made certain that she knew we would be waiting at the bar. I told her three times that’s where we’d be and this place is not that big” (it really isn’t – it’s miniscule). And he said, “OK, well I’ll see what I can do to accommodate you.”
GOOD JOB JANET! Especially as an AZN who has been brought up with the Japanese adage “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.” I was proud of myself. I turned back to Christopher, who was nomming away at the big burger and had missed everything. I was hoping for our drinks & app to get comped. But when the bill came, the balance said ZERO DOLLARS. Our entire meal was comped?!? Chalk one up to the American adage “Squeaky wheel gets the grease!” This made me instantly love Govind Armstrong, and I vowed to give him a nice review here on MTFB. Sorry that it’s seven months later, Govind…chalk it up to another American adage – “Better late than never.”
8 oz Burger Bar
7661 Melrose Ave
323.852.0008
