Archive for February, 2010

Supperclub San Francisco

Sunday, February 21st, 2010

It’s pink cuz the whole place was bathed in pink light for V-day <3.

Me, a blogger: “How would you describe this place?”  R2, a professional writer: “Dinner theatre where dinner is the theatre?  An establishment that wears its lack of inhibition on its sleeve – if it were wearing sleeves…or any clothes at all for that matter?”

Good, good.  For Valentime’s day R2 surprised me with quite the extravaganza at Supperclub SF.  Despite reservations, we waited forever just simply to get in, but that didn’t matter.  Because  in the hallways as we waited there were (a) bathtubs and silk nests containing boy-girl and boy-boy combos of scantily-clad hot people making out nonstop – with TONGUE OMG!  (b) amuse bouches – too dark to see, but I think it was a potato chip with some sort of aioli with a dollop of caviar on top.  Plus, (c) the reason for the holdup was because each guest was treated to two minutes or so of banter by the greeters – a smokin’ hot glamourpuss named Asia and Miss B – a drag queen with the tightest ass and sexiest stems I’ve ever seen (better than mine WTF).  They teased R2 for being too buttoned up, squealing “show us your chest hair!” and unbuttoning his shirt. Except R2 doesn’t really have chest hair so there was disappointed awkwardness all around.

We were assigned to “Couch 22″ and ushered into a bar area which had some of the most Janetastic cocktails (all with elderflower or cucumber or prosecco, my faves).  I was fretting because it was unclear to me how or when we would be shown to our actual table/couch, so if you go – don’t worry.  Everyone gets seated all at once, since its more like a dinner show than a restaurant.

I should have known this, because my sister’s boyf joined the Supperclub SF group on Facebook, and being the stalker that I am, had noticed this and checked it out a couple months ago.  I think I forgot about it because I had dismissed it as a place that was too cool for me to ever go to.

The concept is – well, just read the second two sentences in this post and you’ll get an idea.  Also their website.  Also, the description of their food, which is only one part of it:

Be your own guinea-pig. Taste what you’ve never tasted before. Food at supperclub tickles your heart and caresses your soul. Then deliberately humiliates dogmas like ‘le cordon blue’ [sic] to shock your taste buds with new flavors. Be your own guinea-pig; delete your culinary expectations and open up to the unexpected: new seasonings, new combinations, new tastes, and a new…you.  Dinner in bed.  And no need to worry about the crumbs.

The dinner in bed part – there are a few tables in the center of the two-story open space, but the entire perimeter of both levels is one big couch.  As we settled into our cushion nest I realized that THIS was why R2 said, “Now I know you’re not going to like this, but you should really wear underwear tonight.”

We were sandwiched in between two awkward couples.  Awkward couple to our left consisted of what was clearly a very new-ish couple who were all stiff and polite to one another.  Probably they were both a little pissed that the timing worked out that V-day had come up too early in their courtship.  Both of our tables had awful obstructed views of the stage, so she scampered over to where she could see the first act (a guy poking his upper body through a giant sheet and undulating to a techno version of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds).  When she got back, I asked her how it was and she told me she was “over it” after the first thirty seconds…not a good sign re: her enjoyment of the entire night.

Awkward couple to the right: the slowest-eating couple ever.  I believe we were waiting for our mains before they were even done with their SALADS.  I’m all for enjoying your food (recently I’ve been trying to chew each mouthful 20 times – try it) but this was a little weird.  I very much liked it, therefore, when the guy was in the bathroom and the girl took that opportunity to fucking scarf down her food lol.

The food.  Despite the florid description above, I would say it was very good but not earth-shattering.  Asparagus with a mirin-esque sesame-ish dressing. Soup - lobster bisque or, for crustacean-allergic me, carrot with a dynamite cheddar crouton that was shaped like a gigantic biscotti, but one millimeter thick.  Main - lamb chops with sugar snap peasharicot vert, and au jus.  And, of course, for V-day, something chocolatey so flourless chocolate cake.  We ate it lounging on the pillows and holding the plates in our laps and using our fingers, washing it down with the bottle of champagne perched at every table and making out between every bite.  It was quite decadent.  The “royal court of Marie Antoinette” vibe was furthered by the center table, which was full of very glamourous old people with white white hair and frilly big dresses who were having the time of their lives.

The acts. After the LSD piece came a chick who sang something opera-ey.  I imagined her being an opera major at San Francisco State and telling her family back in Nebraska that she had made it as a professional opera singer and was performing every night.  Then, a hot hapa guy who did the requisite spoken word Valentime’s piece, with the cliched “cunt” thrown in here and there (“Pornographic poetry / is a spaceship of lust / that carries my metaphysical cock into your. hot. juicy. cunt.”).  Then a poor man’s Cirque act, with silk sheets hanging from the ceiling and twirling and such.

Then, finally, the fabulous Miss B (who started his act by saying “now, bitches, my name is not Miss V or Miss G – it’s Miss B.  Everyone say it with me now – HELLO MISS BEEEEEE” and then despite this, later, R2:”My favorite act was Miss V.”  Me: “Sigh.”).  He danced and grinded and humped his hot bod to Video Phone and ended by pouring an entire bottle of champagne all over himself.  So.  Not a romantic night per se, but truly awesome nonetheless.

Supperclub San Francisco
657 Harrison Street
San Francisco, CA 94107-1312
415.348.0900

LA Beer Fest Twenty Dime (is coming!)

Friday, February 19th, 2010

I’m back! I promised Janet I would post this week on account of her being busy with the real world or something, but tax season is upon me as well, so I’m just swinging by to drop this little gem on you. The LA Beer Fest 2010 is back for it’s sophomoric year! If you missed out on last year’s, now is the chance to make it up to yourself.  Tix can be yours for the decent price of $40 a ticket, which will get you unlimited 4oz pours of all the beers in attendance, provided you are prepared to wait in the lines for the good ones.

This time around there are two 3 hour sessions on the same day, April 10. The first goes from 1-4pm and the second from 5-8pm. Returning to entertain the masses during the first session is Petty Cash, whom you may recall made an appearance at the 1st Annual LA Beer Fest, which MTFB covered last year. The second session boasts 40oz to Freedom, billed as “The Ultimate Sublime tribute band.” Pick your poison, people.

Personally I’m hitting up the second session. While there is the risk of some of the breweries running out of beer (and a hex upon their kegs if they do!), I would rather risk that than the baked-in delirium resulting from unlimited pours + midday sun. The sun will be your secret enemy in full sight, as the fest will again take advantage of Sony’s backlot in Culver City. Here’s hoping that this year they’ve worked out more of the kinks and it will be less like the terrible twos and more like… well, that second pint of Guiness.

LA Beer Fest 2010
Sony Studios
10202 W. Washington Blvd.
Culver City, CA 90232

Buy your tix here:

Saturday, April 10, 1-4pm
Saturday, April 10, 5-8pm

Judy’s Cafe

Sunday, February 14th, 2010

I don’t like omelettes.  They are nothing but overpriced rubbery yellow frisbees bent over half-assedly seasoned shit inside.  When at breakfast joints, I either order omelettes as scrambles (and inevitably incite jealousy in my companions when they see their plates compared to mine) or I frequent creperies since there are more of those in SF than hipsters on fixed gears. (And yet I have still not used our “crepes” tag; only Daniel has.)

Then: Judy’s.  A speck of a joint on Chestnut that takes over the sidewalk in front of the drycleaner’s next door on the weekends. It’s so popular that even when you are just walking down the sidewalk past it, the greeter automatically asks for your name, thinking you are OBV wanting to eat there.

The first time I went, as soon as we were seated someone walking past shouted “OHHHHH!  Pumpkin looooaaaf!” at us.  I assumed that meant they were good, so we ordered it as our side (that automatically comes with).  The loaf, indeedy, was divine.  Slight crunch on the outside, moist and spicy on the inside.

I’m getting ahead of myself.  We (meaning me and Lex, the fag to my hag) were seated next to two homosexual females who MAY have been a tad bit butch-ey.  Lex kept making sassy/hilarious (sassilarious?) jokes re: their intense manliness, and I felt exactly like Harold in that scene where they are in the truck with Freakshow and Kumar is yapping to Harold about Freakshow’s erupting zits and Harold is like, “HE… CAN… HEAR… YOU.”  I kept making awkward smiles towards them, and said “Mmmm, your omelette looks good!” in a wobbly voice when our eyes met.

But it DID look good.  So I ordered it.  Spinach & mushroom omelette, and don’t you ever order anything else from there (no, don’t even be tempted by the one with bacon and avocado).  Because this. omelette. was. the. bomb.

You can see it – no fold; just a dome covering a huge mess of perfectly wilted spinach, firmly seasoned mushrooms, and two kinds of oozy-creamy cheese (see top for the perfect bite; above for the dome-esqueness).  Like our own ozone layer, the egg was so very fluffy and fragile – the way I imagine it done by chefs when they are auditioning to work for Daniel Boulud.

This, in walking distance from my home!  Home to home-cooked omelette with homo in three minutes.  Awesome.

Judy’s Cafe
2268 Chestnut St.
San Francisco, CA 94123
415.922.4588

Raku Las Vegas

Thursday, February 11th, 2010

When two foodies get together it’s ON.  When there are THREE together, well, everyone go get your portable mini-fans because there will be overheating, heavy breathing, and sweat.  When there are three PLUS a Dita von Teese lookalike who will make the rest of you look glamorous by her mere presence, well, that’s just beyond reasonable limits of outrageousness.

Our gang of four (me, Liz, Dita, and LL who got me, once, a T-shirt from Musha so you KNOW he’s legit), recently reunited in Las Vegas for a conference after half a year apart, celebrated our cheer by going to Raku.  God, that place is an oasis in that nasty, glitzy, dusty, spermy 89119.  It isn’t on the strip, but instead tucked in corner of a shopping center in the Asianey district of Vegas.

I have never seen such a Yelp-approved resto, in any city I’ve been to.  We began our happy dinner with a flight of sake.  Liz was reticent re: the nigori sake, but soon was contentedly slugging it back (told you!) and asking me the correct pronunciation of “sake.”  Technically, it is, phonetically, “saw-kay” instead of “socky,” but I understand very well how annoying it is, when, for example, someone will be speaking perfectly unaccented Nebraskan English and then shout “TAMA-LAY!” midsentence when discussing tamales.  So I bid her leave to call it socky and also to say carry-okie too.

I’ve been procrastinating on this post because I have been trying to find adequate words to describe this tofu.  Official title: Raku’s Tofu, and you know something that bears the restaurant’s name must be good.  Oh, I wasn’t prepared, though – I wasn’t prepared!  For god’s sake, it’s just tofu!  But how could this be tofu?  This was a silken jelly of the deities.  The pattern you see is what was left behind by the half-moon basket that the tofu was made in.  It was not salty, but covered the back of your tongue and lingered intoxicatingly.  It was smooth and creamy but not in a mashed potato way but instead a slippery way, and dissolved in an achingly thrilling manner, like a bite of a room-temperature snowball.

I’m rambling and slightly incoherent.  This tofu didn’t even need condiments, but I just had to try one of their many very special accoutrements like this green salt that had seven different ingredients in it (including salt shipped from Okinawa – how’s that for not eating local?) and was made in-house.  They also had in-house soy sauce that took our server two verbal paragraphs just to describe how special it was.  Impressive.

Above was another melting eye-opener  - hamachi (yellowtail) carpaccio.  What in flippin hell was that sauce?  It was a ponzu-ish sauce but very pleasingly cloudy.  Just one lustrous bite of this sleek and oily fish turned us all instantly into enemies.  After all, six portions is not gracefully divisible by four.

Luckily, it was easy to get distracted as the food kept coming rapidly.  Raku’s full name is Abriya Raku, which is a bastardized spelling of aburiya, which means grill – meaning, specifically, grilled over charcoal.  So its specialties I think lie in the robata grill items.  Above are shishito peppers from the robata, described as “green hot chile pepper” but is always zero percent hot in my experience.  Just a dribble of the special soy sauce (watch the bonito flakes move and curl as if aliiiiive) and down the gullet it went.

Oh, make sure you discard yer stick things into the special made-for-it skewer holder.  Everything in its place and a place for everything.

Pictured above was one of the major triumphs of the night.  The unassumingly-named soba noodle salad, the dish was a “more than the sum of its parts” type ordeal, with tonburi (aka land/mountain/field caviar), thinly sliced daikon, fun streamers of nori, ginger, and one of those sauces that call to you, siren-like, to pick up the huge (not to mention communal) bowl and tip it into your mouth.

Another soaring note was the butter sauteed scallop with soy sauce, pictured top.  Each of the four of us got our own too-pretty-to-be-hidden-by-a-scallop-shell dish that was hidden by a scallop shell, and that contained a buttery briney liquid that lovingly surrounded a grilled scallop.  Some members of our party had to put their chopsticks down and say “Oh.”  I could have had a meelyon of these.  I think I even said that, just like that.

Also from the grill – enoki mushrooms wrapped in bacon.  Enoki is like natto – I understand how it is Fear Factor-esque, both in looks (tentacley!) and in mouth-feel (chew forever and you still feel like you can’t swallow without choking) but to me (also like natto) it is like drugs.  Wrap it in bacon and you have (also in taste and looks) an umami-filled mini-volcano eruption.

Yelpers insisted that we order the fluffy cheesecake.  I see why.  It was very foodie-cool.  The bottom was a soggy (in a toe-curlingly delicious way) graham cracker type substance – a very thin layer; perhaps a fourth of a centimeter tall.  On the other end – the top – was a frond of fennel!  Surprising and cheerful!  The cake itself is difficult to describe.  Fluffy is a good start.  I look at this picture and I am perplexed as to how that fluffiness is even holding up those heavy raspberry fourths.  All of it was exactly zero sweet.  Maybe the raz sauce, but otherwise, this “cake” was more tart and salty than anything else.  Naturally, I hoovered that shit.

Wow.  I am re-reading this post (YES I proofread these, shoot) and it’s rather…oleaginous.  I will stop here.  But reading this, you must be relieved that you finally have somewhere to eat in Vegas that isn’t cheesy or expensive, no?  Not to mention smashingly tasty.

OK.  I’ll stop.

Abriya Raku

5030 W.Spring Mountain Rd #2,Las Vegas, NV 89146

702.367.3511

Lemon Blender Pie

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

Do you want the world’s easiest pie recipe?  No joke here.  All you need is a blender.  You can make the pie crust (I use Jeffrey Steingarten’s method, where you take tiny cubes of butter and just sift it repeatedly through your fingers with flour) or just use store-bought, but in any case it comes out delicious and impressive-looking.  I brought it to work and I got so many accolades – even an arm-pat from a famous professor.

Lemon Blender Pie – from somewhere on the interweb with search terms “easy” and “pie.”

1 large lemon
2 cups sugar
4 eggs
1 stick butter, melted

Take 1 whole large lemon, cut into quarters; remove seeds.

Blend lemon, sugar and eggs until fine puree. Pour in melted butter and continue blending at high speed 1 to 2 minutes.

Pour into an 9 inch uncooked pie shell and bake in 350° F preheated oven for 35 to 45 minutes or until center is set.

I topped with fresh sliced strawberries which I think are a must (see below).

So, do you see how the recipe just says “blend lemon, sugar, and eggs?”  So I squeezed the lemon juice into my pink Kitchenaid, at which point R2 said, “I think you put the actual lemon in it, with the skin and everything.”  I got all haughty, like, why should I take advice from someone who doesn’t know the proper term is rind, and why on earth would you put the entire rind in??  That would be bittersauce to the max!  But then R2, in his infinitely gentle way (i.e., “I know you’re the cook and I’m not doubting you at all, and this is probably stupid, but I wonder if X, Y, Z”), asked why the recipe would say “puree” if it were not calling for the “skin” and isn’t it telling us to use a blender, not a mixer?

He had me there.  These facts in combination with R2 encouraging me and saying vaguely relevant lines like, “With great power comes great responsibility!” and “Go big or go home!” but still with doubt exuding from my every pore, I put everything in the blender and blended.  The resulting liquid was … awesome.  Super duper tangy, a hint of bitter, and sweet and creamy.

Into the pie shell and into the oven!  Then out, and berries on top.  To be honest, I just put the strawberries there to make it look beautiful, but it turned out that they were a superb complement to the sugary lemon filling and mellowed out the bitter.  And how darling is it to say, “Oh, yes, I baked this strawberry lemon pie?” rather than “yah foolz it’s a lemon blender pie yo.”

I sent a picture and the recipe to Tinx and Daniel, and Tinx made it that very same day.  Both she and I noted that it needed more than the 45 mins to really set, so watch out for that.  Also, perhaps reduce the rind to 3/4ths or something (and supplement with a little more juice) to cut out some of the excessive bitterness.

It hurt my soul a little bit to use strawberries in the wintertime (and lemons, for that matter – what season do lemons come around in??) since I’m trying to be good about that kind of shit, but lately in my box it’s been collard greens and butternut squash and leeks and leeks and butternut squash and collard greens and greens and leeks and squash and leeks and squash and greens.  Plus I got to experience that little lift when I cooed, “I know strawberries aren’t in season and I detest eating out of season, but…”