Archive for April, 2010

Ace of Cakes R2 Cake

Friday, April 23rd, 2010

So, I hear that the Star Wars episode of Ace of Cakes finally aired. FINALLY!  NOW I CAN BLOG EET!

Months and months and months ago I was sworn to secrecy by someone who shall not be named (it’s not Voldemort).  I was supposed to keep quiet the fact that (a) the season finale of Ace of Cakes, one of my favorite shows and Tinx’s too, was to take place at the Skywalker Ranch to celebrate the Star Wars: Clone Wars Season 2 wrap party; and (b) that this insider person, who shall not be named, had stolen an actual piece of the actual R2-D2 cake (rather than the sheet cake given to all employees) for yours truly to inhale in three seconds as soon as he came through my apartment door.  And also for yours truly to say to her friends “I HAVE A SECRET BUT I CAN’T TELL YOU AAAAAA!” and drive them crazy.  I said “If you guess it I can tell you yay or nay” but of course no one guessed it cuz that shit is too random.

Anyway, it looked like this:

The slug-like entity is a piece of R2 fondant in front.

I’ll be honest.  I always thought that the actual sheetcake they use was shitty, banking on the fact that the cakes always LOOK so fabulous that partygoers will be seduced into thinking they also taste good. Further, are you going to say “ICK!  Get this shit outta my mouf” on national TV?  No.

But the cake was moist and dense in a good way.  More surprisingly, the FONDANT!  Which is usually hard as a new stick of Wrigley’s and plastic-ey tasting, here was soft and acquiesced the the gentlest of chew-chews.

This was my perspective.

I haven’t seen the episode, so I needed to ask Tinx if there was anything cool from her perspective.  She texted back:

“Um they meet the r2 robot…He meets George Lucas at the end!! They have to make the clone wars version of r2 so it’s super dirty looking…  At one point they say “r2 has delicious insides” and i died laughing for some reason.  Some random engineer from skywalker ranch made the head move on the cake it was rad.”

I asked my R2 some random person who shall not be named for his HIS OR HER WHO KNOWS IT COULD BE ANYONE perspective and he said that the random engineer’s name was Spencer.  ”I’m not a hundred percent sure but I think his name was Spencer.”  Which is not at all exciting as far as insider knowledge is concerned.

Nevertheless, I am exceedingly grateful to that person for standing in line forever for R2 proper cake.  And it’s a cool concept all around.  I mean – Duff and GEORGE?!?!?

Posted in Food, TV | 1 Comment »

McDonald’s Mac Wrap

Monday, April 19th, 2010

As long as we’re on the subject of disgusting fast food, here’s a snack-sized post for the new McDonald’s Mac Wrap.  I’ve long been a fan of their chicken snack wrap.  Don’t get me wrong – the reason I like the chicken snack wraps is not because they are [relatively] healthy; I get them as a backup second “entree” when I worry that my two cheeseburger value meal  isn’t enough food but McNubs sound too effortful (with the sauce and dipping and whatnot).

In this instance, I got a Filet-o-Fish (because it was Friday!  Alliteration!) and fries (more!) and sat down excitedly with Daniel, who was visiting.  I looked down, however, and saw this:

Why was it wrapped in a sausage McGriddle wrapper?  No matter.  I tore it open and was psyched when I got a gander at the shredded iceberg; common denominators to both the beloved Big Mac and Snack Wrap.

But.  Wait.  The Mac Wrap in my head was supposed to be a beef version of a snack wrap.  It is not a beef version of a snack wrap.  It’s like a shitty version of a Big Mac stuck in a tortilla.  I mean, the thing could NOT have been more phoned in.  Literally it’s just a hamburger patty cut in half, which made me sad.  I wanted a mini-fied and oblong (and to mix metaphors) hash-brown-shaped patty peeking out at me (in my fantasies, with edible googly eyes – hey that’s a good idea make it and market it!) like a swaddled infant so I could say “Imma eatchoo bebeh” and nom it like a monster.

I nommed it like a monster anyway.  And…I must admit it was great.  A tiny Big Mac punch!  When prompted to offer his thoughts, Daniel said “Ummm just that it is perfect for when you want the Big Mac taste without feeling like you should kill yourself after?”  Well said, my friend.

And well-played, my McDonald’s.  In the end, I must admit that the Mac Wrap is exactly what McDonald’s wanted it to be.

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Posted in Food, Hamburgers | 1 Comment »

KFC Double Down

Monday, April 12th, 2010

[5:11 pm] Text from Tinx to Janet: Getting the double down right now!!!

[5:52 pm] Text from Janet to Tinx: Me too later!  How was it?!?!

[5:53 pm] Text from Tinx to Janet: So goood!! Tender juicy salty nom

[5:55 pm] Text from Janet to R2: My armpits smell like you <3 [Ed note: Janet borrowed his deo this morning] Tinx loves the double down so I am scared

[5:55 pm] Text from R2 to Janet: Too scared to eat it?

[5:55 pm] Text from Janet to R2: Never too scares [sic] to eat anything!!

[5:55 pm] Text from R2 to Janet: Yes!  That’s my girl!  I will pick up and bring it by your place around 8:00.

[5:56 pm to 7:56 pm] Janet waiting waiting waiting.

[7:57 pm] Janet decides to roast some asparagus in anticipation of the unhealthiness of dinner.

[7:58 pm] Janet further makes a cucumber salad with fat free dressing.

[8:01 pm] R2 is LATE! Janet drafts, preliminarily, the post for blog.

[8:09 pm] Blog draft done; Janet puts on Muse and rocks out; she is going to their concert on Wednesday

[8:15 pm] Faced with nothing better to do, Janet takes a shower, and then thinks whilst showering that perhaps she’ll have to take another one after the Double Down.

[8:29 pm] R2 arrives, FINALL~Y!

[8:30 pm] Janet discovers to her delight that R2 has also bought biscuits and corm!

[8:31 pm] Careless and rushed photo sesh.


[8:35 pm] Nomming sounds.

[8:36 pm] Janet thinks: This is exactly what I thought it would taste like, and indeed, R2 is right now saying to me “Well, there are no surprises here.”  Not quite as disgusting as I thought it would be, though is MAYO really necessary?  This is skimpy on the bacon and not skimpy enough on the chicken.  Good lord, these are thick chicken breasts.  Salty so salty wow juicier than I thought.  There’s no way I can finish this.  Whoops, I finished it.

Find out more about the cheese and bacon-filled chicken breast sando, or just get one.

Posted in Food | 2 Comments »

Blue Bayou at Dinneyrannnnd!

Friday, April 2nd, 2010

OK, I (a) very clearly remember how I felt after eating the above (death come here death hurry) and (b) just now ate a quarter of an entire cheesecake (deathland I want to go to there) and this picture is STILL making my mouth water.  It’s from the Blue Bayou restaurant, which is in New Orleans Square, integrated into Pirates of the Caribbean ride, in…Disneyland!  The word wOOt was invented for this!

Speaking of inventing, I hear that this very resto is where this abomination, the Monte Cristo sandwich, was invented.  Turkey, ham and Swiss cheese in a battered egg bread, lightly fried to a golden brown. With Blue Bayou potatoes and seasonal vegetables, all for the spendyriffic price of $22, but that’s the Diz for you.

In the words of William Joel, heart attack-kack-kack-kack-kack-kack!  Most people think of Monte Cristos as having french toast as your bookends, but here it was more like a donut that they battered and fried a second time, and the bread wasn’t just the bookends, it was also the cover, title page, forward, preface, first thirty six chapters, last thirty six chapters, endnotes, acknowledgments, that weird page where they tell you about the special font the book is printed in, and back cover.

But still somehow light as air.  Proof positive that grease is made with angel tears.

Ok that was such a great line to end a post on, but R2 is pestering me to mention the Blue Bayou potatoes.  They were awesome, ok?  So too was the currant sauce that the sammy came with, which took the sweet-savory situation to a deadly serious level.  Sigh.  Since I’m at it I might as well throw up this picture:

And go on a classic MTFB tangent about how isn’t it weird how fucking GOOD salads are in fancy steakhouses?  The best salad I’ve had on this earth was at Fleming’s.  And yet, they are without fail overshadowed by their flatter, squarer, bloodier brethren foodstuffs. Same thing here.  Even though it comes before the entree, an afterthought; Uma Thurman to Kim Basinger in Final Analysis.

While I’m at it, I might as well go on another tangent about how I once came here — OMG as if R2 hasn’t done enough damage already by derailing my post, now he’s bothering me by telling me a Jewish samurai joke!!!  Don’t be intrigued!  It was awful.

–once I came here with my family.  My mom asked for the wine list, but they do no serve alkyhol (at least on this side – California Adventure’s a lush haven).  So my mom ordered O’Douls and quite liked it.  Since it’s basically alcohol free, I also got to drink it and I felt very grown up.  Thus my enduring and random love of O’Douls was born.

My love of Disneyland, well, that I came out of the womb with.

Make a reservation!  You’ll NEVER get in same-day! 714.781.DINE

Posted in Drink, Food | No Comments »