There that shall not be named

by janet on March 23rd, 2011

Not cuz it’s evil, but because I don’t know if the food was included in the NDA I signed lol.

This was at one of those companies that follow the Google model; ie free food for their employees. I was given a tour of the facilities but as I walked through the space I kept snagging on the snack stations. Glorious L-shaped nooks filled with snacks like Pop Chips (they taste a lot like Kappa Ebi-sen/Calbee Shrimp chips, which I can no longer eat without dying due to my acquired allergy) and those dehydrated fruit thingies and even tiny tins of Altoid mints! And every drink known to man, including things I love but can’t often find like Diet Mountain Dew. MMmmMMmMM.

I quickly calculated: 4 pockets in my jeans, two pockets in my coat, a big purse, and oh good I wore my loose bra today so I could stuff it if needed. I wasn’t above going hermaphrodite-style either in my skinny jeans.

I got one thing of Pop Chips and then my guide was already off and away, her impossibly high heels (I say impossibly because I take pride in hacking high heels all the time, and hers were higher) clicking on the concrete floor. How does such a tiny person walk so fast I grumbled, simultaneously wondering which was more uncouth: busting out the chips and eating them while walking or the blatant crinkly sound coming from my bag.

Someone should have told me SIMMA DOWN NA, because she was headed to the cafeteria. Oh goody goody goody. Even though it was St. Patrick’s day, it was Indian day. This was a vegetarian Mulligatawny soup. Do you like how I styled this shot with the cucumber hint water?

To be honest, I was very worried about busting out a camera, given the non-disclosure agreement and all. I got away with it, probably because I was surrounded by many Asians who were too busy ching chong ling long ting tong-ing.

I love cucumber water. Maybe it’s classical conditioning because they often co-occur with massages. hint water is so gross, though. I KNEW it before I drank it, but it was a classic case of decision overload ending up in the absolute worst pick, exacerbated by the fact that everything was freaking free.

The soup was thick and salty and therefore I loved it. It was so thick and salty, however, that it made me suspect they mislabeled it as soup when it was actually some kind of curry. This made me muse about what makes a soup a soup, which made me want to revisit the idea of soupscoop.com (which is now finally taken, by the way).

Pictured top is a potato and tofu curry, some sauteed greens, rice, Indian vegetables, and a slice of moist, quivering lamb. I cursed and cursed and cursed my choice to go into academia. I know for a fact that several people surrounding me were also psych majors in college, so that was definitely my fuckup. It was then my lower lip’s turn to quiver as I looked around in jealousy at these people who were probably coming right back here in six hours to eat dinner. In between they were probably going to go by the snack station, unwrap a free¬†Clif bar, and throw it away after eating three bites. Assholes.

In other news, I don’t think I realized it’s Clif with one “f” before.

My final item was a cute mini cupcake celebrating the day properly. It had cream cheese frosting and was a perfect two bites. My host then encouraged me to load up on snacks before I left, and in fact pressed more items in my hands, saying “These are really nommy too! You have so much more space in your purse!” Her understanding tone plus her usage of the word “nommy” were almost enough to start the waterworks again.

I love this place. I want to go to there again.

2 Responses to “There that shall not be named”

  1. Nath says:

    1. SIMMA DOWN NA
    2. How do I eat so many clif bars and not realize it is spelled with only 1 “f”
    3. mmmm Indian food
    4. The thick and salty soup-curry reminds me of when you face is salty wet and you’re drowning in regret.

  2. janet says:

    lol Grampy.

    PS Thank you for viewing this on the blog proper. It’s probably due to you that we earned $.09 in adsense!

Leave a Reply