If I Ever Married a Burger…

by Daniel on June 9th, 2011

I have good news and bad news, friends. The good news is that Janet and R2 have safely found their way back stateside! The bad news is that eating their way across Japan for two weeks means they have two weeks worth of stuff to catch up on. Wizzomp womp! Never fear, I’m here to tide you over until Janet can regale us with whimsical tales of her motherland.

I also have a confession! I told Janet I was going to post this while she was actually in Japan, but instead I’ve been working on a secret for MTFB, a secret that not even Janet herself knows! Anyway, I’m glad I got that off my chest.

Let’s get to the topic at hand: The burger I would marry, if ever it was legal. Feast your eyes above on the Behemoth, courtesy of theĀ Grill ‘em All Truck, winner of The Great Food Truck Race: a 7oz. burger fixed with cheddar, bacon, beer battered onions (!), pickles , Grandma’s Mosh Pit BBQ sauce, and…. wait for it… grilled cheese buns. Just in case you didn’t catch that last part, this burger uses grilled cheese sandwiches in place of buns. In. Place. Of. BUNS. Lemme hit you with a close up.

Nommy McNom NOM, loyal readers! I was the first to admit that this was one of those things that I could die from (I told my coworker she could have my stapler in the event of my death), that perhaps I should even consult my doctor prior to tackling this monster… but first and foremost I am here for the sake of hard-hitting journalism, so I threw caution to the wind and bit in.

What GLORY! JOY! EUPHORIA! I was instantly in a state of bliss, wildly giddy and ready to shout from the rooftops that I would make this burger my wife. It’s like, you know when you have the PERFECT grilled cheese sandwich? Delightfully crispy on the outside, with ooey, gooey cheese on the inside? Now think of two of those. Almost like your dreams have come true and you’ve met twins that you love equally. But WAIT! Put a burger between them (the grilled cheeses, not the twins), dressed up in its finest bacon and bbq sauce. BAM! It’s a mind-blowingly perfect combination of all the tastiest bad things in life. I thought the Krispy Kreme chicken sandwich was good, but holy moly!

Honestly, I was ready to declare my quest for the perfect burger had finally ended. I had searched high and low for years and at last, found it on a food truck. And then I realized I could never marry this burger, if only because I had already eaten most of it. I made the most of the situation by eating the rest of it, despite the fact that I felt like maybe I actually was going to die. It might’ve been worth it!

Anyway, if you’re feeling daring enough to try this finely crafted tower of deliciousness, hunt down the Grill ‘em All truck via their twitter or if you’re in West LA, keep an eye on the Westside Food Truck Central lot in Culver City, as that’s where I first met the Behemoth.

Grill ‘em All Truck
At a parking spot near you
www.grillemalltruck.com

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One Response to “If I Ever Married a Burger…”

  1. janet says:

    Yeah ok, but you always say you wanna marry ________. Just yesterday it was Cat Deeley. P.S. This bread looks sturdy and excellent.

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