National Aquarium in Baltimore

by janet on March 16th, 2008

Yes, Baltimore is probably most famous for being where Step Up 2 the Streets takes place. But after a lazy, conference-ditching day that included an incredible find of a rare tokidoki purse at fucking Filene’s Basement of all places (!) and a trip to the National Aquarium in Baltimore, I must say that this aquarium is the true gem of Baltimore. Mostly because everything looked delicious. Even the turtle butt. (Yes, we Japanese eat turtles, mostly in soup.)

The place was so hoppin that they were selling timed entry tickets. I couldn’t get in until 3 pm, so I just treated myself to an episode of the This American Life podcast while I walked around Barnes & Noble. I then waited in line while a small child erroneously grasped my pants leg. Her mom said, “Do you want her to be your new mommy?” and she looked up at me and said, “EWWW! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!” I was mildly offended. Anyway, the aquarium is divided into three main exhibits, and the coolest one was this one, where a huge pool stuffed full of rays (Steve killers!) was at the bottom, with moving sidewalks criss-crossing over the pools as you went up and up and up to look at all the other tanks.

I don’t know why I didn’t know this already, but fish…swim. So it’s very difficult to take photographs of them. I should have remembered from Skittles, but I think I repressed it. So I ended up taking photographs of fish that didn’t move or photographs of photographs (see top). Also, I apologize that I retained none of the information about the creatures that I photographed. Hopefully you will be satisfied with some anthropomorphizing.

Directly above is one such sedentary fish. Which is funny because in this photo he looks like he’s gettin’ out of his chair, about to start some shit like “OH NO YOU DI’INT!”

This is a photo of a photo (POP). I suppose it’s impossible to have an exhibit of these deep sea critters, since by definition it has to be too dark. The photos were freaking freaky though because they were gigantic.

This is not a fish. I had more success with non-fishes. This is an alligator. The entire aquarium only had alligators, no crocs, even in the Australia exhibit where I wanted to see Steve Irwin-esque salties.

“What’s up?” “Turtle Butt.” That fish is totally checking out his ass too.

I was like, “OMG! This fish is totally the Eye of Sauron!” I am such a nerd but I mean LOOK at it!

I have a slight phobia of frogs. Looking at them or looking at pictures of them gives me goosebumps, shivers, and mild nausea. So of course the fucking aquarium has TWO full exhibits of frogs, including Frogs! A Chorus of Colors! which was difficult but I thought some exposure therapy might help me get a handle on it. I hated taking pictures of them, and my slightly trembly hands made focusing difficult and so I ended up spending twice as much time taking photos of these fucking gross things that I hate. Rwar.

My mom, though, has the ultimate phobia. She is snake phobic. To the point where we had to tape paper over the “Snake” entry in our encyclopedia because she would stumble upon that photo, scream, and – one time – faint. Good thing she has no idea that this blog exists so she will never see this photo. These particular snakes are kind of cute in that they are snuggling.

Could anything look more tired? Funny. Notice his right hand claws that are hanging off the other side of the log as well. <3


The National Aquarium
501 E. Pratt Street
Baltimore, Maryland, 21202

5 Responses to “National Aquarium in Baltimore”

  1. tinks says:

    i love snakes and frogs. and fishies!!

  2. Liz says:

    These pictures are GORGEOUS, and that last one is fantastic! I feel like it should be submitted to some magazine or entered in a contest or something…

  3. janet says:

    The last one is a POP.

    The Smithsonian just announced their nature photography winners! They are REALLY amazing.

  4. nina says:

    i love the last photo. i wish i could blow it up and use it when i’m in a bad mood. maybe with a little note on the bottom that says: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?! GODDAMMIT.

  5. […] National Aquarium in Baltimore Because: I got over my frog phobia and my Cheeto […]

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